Hidden Away
by HR always live on
Summary: After Cotterdam Harry refuses to let Ruth flee the country, instead wanting her name to be cleared. With a broken right arm, Ruth also needs someone to look after her in her hide away. Of course, our knight in shining armour comes to the rescue...Now complete. :)
1. Chapter 1

**Set in the latter stages of 5-5, when instead of Ruth having to leave the country, Harry decides to hide her away until her innocence can be proven. I have a romantic notion of the two of them trapped in a cottage away from everyone else, which is how this story came about.**

* * *

Ruth awoke in an unfamiliar room, an incredibly bad throbbing pain going through her right forearm. So bad that she couldn't even move it. Looking down she knew her arm had to be broken. It was lying at a wrong angle and it looked completely unnatural. She didn't even try to move it, instead she tried to focus on where she was to take her off the pain. She seemed to be lying on a bed in a dark room of a house. There wasn't a window anywhere but there were wooden beams running across the ceiling. The room seemed more than sparse. There was an empty bookcase across one wall but nothing else. In spite of the pain she was about to get up and find out where she was and how she'd got there when she heard two male voices coming nearer the room. She froze, fear filling her with fear. Which faded a little when she recognised Harry's voice. Where on earth was she?

The door opened and Harry came in, smiling at her. "I didn't think you'd wake," he said quietly as another man followed him into the room.

"Where am I? What happened?" she said, looking at the other man who she didn't recognise. He was short, had tiny glasses perched on his nose and seemed to be in his forties.

"Don't worry," Harry said calmly. "We're safe here. No one will find you."

"What happened?" she repeated.

"Adam got me out of prison as you were trying to intimidate that witness."

"Oh," Ruth said as it came back to her. "That stupid violent cow."

"Yes," Harry said, his lips twitching. "She rather didn't like having a gun held to her head…"

"So the bitch broke my arm," Ruth said as she remembered. "No one told me before I went in there that she studied karate in her free time."

Harry chuckled. "Look, if I'm not here in the morning I'll be on my way back." Ruth frowned at him. "I have to identify a body as yours," he said quietly. "Until we can sort this out you have to be dead. Or in prison, and it gets a lot harder to prove if you're already locked away. They'll just assume you're guilty."

"I understand," Ruth said. "Can we do something about my arm please?"

"Yes, I've brought you a doctor who doesn't ask questions," Harry said, nodding at the man behind her. Ruth nodded and let him have a look at her arm. She hissed as he touched her, making a shot of pain go through her.

"Careful!" Harry said. One look at this man and Ruth knew he'd been bought off.

"Sorry," the doctor said in what sounded like a Polish accent. "When was broken?"

"Er… three hours ago," Ruth said looking at her watch. She couldn't have been asleep very long at all.

"Right. Need to send you to sleep. So I can put the bone right."

"Okay," Ruth said confidently. She didn't feel that confident when he brought out of his doctors bag a small box with needles in it.

"If you hurt her, I'll kill you," Harry said menacingly after seeing Ruth's face.

"She needs to sleep while I fix," the man said. "Otherwise big ouch."

"Yes Harry," Ruth said, a ghost of a smile. "I don't want a big ouch do I?"

"No." Ruth said nothing but let the doctor cut her shirt off of her arm (there was no way she could lift her arm to remove it) and then he injected her. The world went black. Harry felt a tiny bit of worry when he saw her fall into unconsciousness so quickly. It faded when he saw how much care the doctor was taking over her. Touching her gently and examining the break. Harry winced when a loud crack echoed through the room as her bone was put right. It was clear that the best thing for her was to be knocked out while that was set. Harry watched as the doctor started to put her arm in a cast with fibreglass cloths. It took a while but Harry didn't want to leave her alone with a stranger. When he was done he looked at Harry expectantly.

"How long until its healed?" Harry asked, not taking the hint for payment quite yet.  
"With no x ray I am not sure," the doctor said. "I do my best and it looked a clean break so… should be okay in… sześć weeks." Harry frowned. The doctor held up six fingers. "I come again to check."

"No," Harry said firmly. He had no idea what the state of things would be in six weeks time, and having a stranger turn up here would not be a good thing. "I'll come to you."

"Makes no difference," he said with a shrug. "Now. My money." Harry obligingly gave him an envelope from his inside jacket pocket. Before handing it over he said firmly, "You cannot talk. We were never here."

"I no talk," he said shaking his head. "I was with my wife tonight. Never seen this house before. No talk."

"Good," Harry said handing the envelope of taxpayers money over. The doctor flicked through the envelope and then left without another word. Harry waited and then heard the engine start up and leave. For the first time he felt like he could breathe properly. Ruth was okay, even if she was unconscious. No matter how much he didn't like it, he had to leave her. It had been a risk going here with her in the first place, even knowing that Adam and Zaf were throwing up smokescreens all over London to buy him some time. He hurriedly wrote her a note for when she woke up. Then he looked at her for a moment, he couldn't help it. She was so beautiful. Even with a broken arm and being set up by Mace and his cronies.

Now he had to go and identify a dead body as Ruth's. Which wouldn't be easy, even knowing she was safely sleeping in a house which didn't officially exist. After a moments thought he decided to do what he wanted to. He brushed her hair away from her face and kissed her forehead lightly. He knew she would never remember but he needed to do it all the same. Then he left the house and locked it firmly. He knew it was a risk leaving her here, but it was the safest place he could find at such short notice. So he just hoped and prayed she'd be all right. Malcolm was surveying all sorts of CCTV as a precaution too. But as much as he hated it, he needed to be back in London. "I'll be back soon Ruth. I promise." He left and made sure that he'd locked all of the different locks on the front door. Just in case.

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**I think this has potential but I'd love to know what you think!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow, overwhelmed with 18 reviews for chapter one! Never had that many before so thank you. I've tried to get this up as soon as possible as a thank you...**

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Ruth awoke late in the morning, feeling stiff, groggy and slow witted. She looked down and as she saw her arm in a cast she remembered the day before. She moved her fingers slightly and was rather pleased that she could do it. Without moving she looked around the room. That was when she saw a letter resting on the bed, her name scrawled in Harry's wonderfully familiar handwriting.

_Ruth,_

_I'm sorry I had to leave so soon. I will be back as soon as things are sorted in London. Don't worry, you're safe. This house doesn't officially exist, and no one other than myself and Malcolm know where you are. I had to have someone watching out for you and Malcolm was the one I trust most. Hope you don't mind. I'll be back with some food and supplies as soon as I can. Don't do too much, you have to rest that arm. The doctor says it'll be fine in a few weeks. See you later. Harry._

She read it again before she dropped it back on the bed and sighed. She really needed some painkillers as her arm was throbbing uncomfortably. Getting up she decided to have a look around, as she had no idea where she was. It only took ten minutes to go around the whole place. It only had four rooms. The bedroom she'd been sleeping in, a tiny bathroom, a small kitchen and a living room. All on one level too. Looking out of the kitchen window it seemed that she was in the middle of a field. It was pouring with rain, so she didn't go outside, thinking that with only the clothes she was wearing, it was probably a bad idea to get soaking wet.

Ruth clumsily got herself a glass of water with her left hand but she didn't do anything else before she heard a car engine coming near the house. She instantly felt worried, even though rationally she knew it would most likely be Harry. Walking through to the living room she looked out of the window and saw a four wheel drive approaching down a very overgrown track. She watched until it was close enough to make out the driver and she sighed with relief. It was Harry. She walked through the tiny hallway and unlocked the door slowly. Three different locks, and she wondered if that was necessary. It made her feel deeply uneasy. She opened the door at the same time Harry was on the other side of it, holding a key for the lock and several bags in his hands.

"Hello," he said, a tight smile on his face.

"Is everything okay?" she asked as he came through into the living room.

"Yes," Harry said firmly. "Not an easy morning, but yes. Things have settled down somewhat. My car's full of supplies. I… hope you didn't mind me leaving?"

"No," Ruth said. "I've only just woken up anyway."

"How's your arm?"

"Aching," Ruth replied honestly. "I'm fine. Just in mourning for my former life."

"I have some painkillers for you," he said. "And food and clothes."

"Good because I'm starving," Ruth said. Harry smiled but said nothing as he continued to unload the car. "Do you want any help?"

"No, you stay put," Harry said firmly. She'd known that would be the answer and she smiled to herself as she sat down on the worn sofa and closed her eyes for a few moments. The last twenty four hours had been exhausting.

* * *

Not long afterwards, Ruth found herself sitting at the kitchen table opposite Harry, a plate of pasta in front of each of them. Ruth had thought she was hungry but she kept toying with her lunch with her fork as her mind ran over everything that had happened.

"You need to eat," Harry said quietly. "I might take offence. My cooking's not that bad."

Ruth smiled at him and reluctantly had another bite. "I'm just thinking…" Ruth said quietly.

"I expect nothing less from you," he agreed. Then he waited for her to speak.

"How did you come across this cottage?" Ruth asked as it was the least complicated thing she could think to ask.

"I bought it about twenty years ago under an alias," Harry said. "I never used it and then someone was interested in it for a ridiculous amount of money. So I let him have it. About three years ago, the occupant died. I quietly bought it back, in case I needed it one day. Its stood empty since."

"So this is your house," Ruth said, wondering why she was surprised.

"Mm," he said. "I wanted you safe. This was the only place I could think of where no one would look for you."

"Thank you," Ruth said. Silence spread out between them again as Ruth pushed her pasta around her plate. "I'm sorry I'm such lousy company," Ruth said after a minute. "I'm just waiting for you to leave I guess."

"I'm not going anywhere," Harry said, not following what she meant.

"Harry, you can't stay here forever. People will know we're together. The lie about my death won't hold up long, you know that."

"Ruth, I am staying here with you, until you can go back to work," Harry said firmly. "I had to identify a dead body as yours today. I realised how much…" he tailed off for a moment before clearing his throat and carrying on. "I knew that the body wasn't yours because I'd left you sleeping here. But the fear that I'd see you dead… was indescribable. I'm not leaving you on your own. Malcolm's taken some leave to prove your innocence. And if anyone can do it, its him."

"But… where does the world think you are?" Ruth said slowly.

"In Iran," Harry said. "Visiting Catherine. And I've called her on an encrypted line so my covers intact. We hacked into CCTV and made it look like I was boarding the plane. Oh, and I made… quite a good show."

"What do you mean by that?" Ruth asked curiously. A curiosity that was increased when he refused to look her in the eye. "Harry?"

"I made a show that I was having a breakdown," Harry said quietly. "That I couldn't deal with seeing your body. I made it look convincing. I wanted to be able to look after you and I didn't want a time limit either."

"You didn't have to do that," she said.

"I know." He looked her straight in the eye and she blushed, her eyes retreating to her plate.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," he said, a smile hovering on his face. "Eat." She smiled back and did what he asked. It was delicious.

* * *

Throughout the day they were both fairly quiet, unpacking food and clothes from Harry's car. By about ten o'clock in the evening they were both exhausted. Which made Ruth suddenly aware of the fact that there was only one bed in the house. As if reading her mind Harry shook his head. "Don't worry, I'll sleep on the sofa."

"No don't be stupid," Ruth said. "There's more than enough room in the bed. I trust you."

"Ruth…"

"I mean it," she said quietly. "The sofa can't be good for your back."

"Okay," he said quietly. "As long as you're sure." Ruth nodded.

She went into the bathroom to change for bed when she realised she had a problem. With the cast on her arm she couldn't reach to unfasten her bra. She spent about five minutes trying when she sighed. She would have to ask for help, no matter how embarrassing it might be.

"Harry?"

"Are you okay?" he called through the bathroom door.

"Yeah, I need…" she sighed. "I need some help." He opened the door and looked in. Then he looked away when he realised her top was off and the only thing covering her naked breasts was her bra. God was clearly trying him.

"Sorry," he mumbled, wondering if the image of her like that would ever fade away from his mind.

"No, Harry I can't… I can't undo my bra," she said, facing away from the door. "I'd like some help. Please." Very slowly he came into the bathroom, aware that he'd have to look at her and test his usually iron self control. He was being asked to take off Ruth's bra and do no more. He didn't know if he could make his body not react to her. God, her skin looked so beautiful and he ached to touch her. Porcelain and kissable.

Ruth could see his face in the mirror and knew he was struggling to control himself. She bit her lip, wondering where this would lead. He focused on her back and undid her bra, his fingers grazing her warm skin. He didn't move his hands an inch, wanting to prolong the contact between them. Ruth was the one to break it, but only because she felt the bra slipping and didn't want to tempt Harry more than she already was. Or not at the moment anyway, when he didn't seem to want to act on the impulse. At least not tonight.

"Thank you," she said, turning to face him, her left arm holding her bra to her chest.

"I'm going to sleep on the sofa tonight," he said firmly. He held her gaze and they both knew it was so his eyes didn't wander.

"You don't have to…"

"Yes I do," he said. "Its… best for both of us. Goodnight."

"Night," she replied as he left and closed the door quietly. Ruth sighed as she shrugged into her PJ top. If he would, just once, act on impulse… But then again, she was just as bad. Pushing him away at Havensworth… being frightened every time he looked like he might make a move on her. No. From now on whenever the opportunity presented itself, she decided she would act on it. Because it couldn't get her in a worse mess than she was right now. Officially dead, living in a tiny cottage with no central heating, and hiding out until her innocence could be proven.

"Wake up Ruth," she said to herself. "Take what you want."


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you for all the encouragement!**

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Harry woke up at three in the morning, his back aching. He groaned quietly. Sleeping on a sofa was not a good idea for a man of his age. But sleeping next to Ruth would have meant he got no sleep at all. Because he'd be thinking of her. Her soft body sleeping next to him, her eyelashes fluttering when she dreamed, the scent of her hair so close to him… No, much better to be away from all those temptations. Havensworth wasn't all that long ago, and he remembered her running from him all too well. If he could avoid that experience again, he would. He had a sixth sense that if things progressed, she probably wouldn't push him away, but he didn't want to take the chance.

He turned over on the sofa, staring at the fire which he'd lit earlier in the day. Stupid house with no central heating, he cursed to himself. They should be grateful they even had electricity. Harry got up and threw another log on the fire which threw up sparks before he sat back down. However hard he tried, he could not get the image of a nearly topless Ruth out of his mind. Okay, he wasn't trying that hard, he admitted. Her bare back, being asked to go nearer her and remove her bra… God was clearly torturing him. Whenever he'd fantasised about removing her clothing, it had always been in a much more romantic and sometimes frantic way. He could still feel the warmth of her skin on his fingers. He longed to trace the contours of her spine… longed to kiss her everywhere.

"Oh for Gods sake, snap out of it," Harry said to himself. He rolled over and jammed his eyes closed, hoping that through sheer determination, he could make himself fall asleep.

* * *

Harry woke up at half past six and gave up on any thought of further sleep. He got up and put the kettle on, trying to make sure he hadn't given himself permanent neck damage. The kettle whistled when it boiled and Harry made himself a tea while unbeknownst to him Ruth was watching from the door. She saw him move his neck warily and her heart went out to him.

"You're sleeping with me tonight," Ruth said quietly. Harry spun around and had to remind his heart to start beating as he realised that what she meant wasn't what his imagination thought. Ruth blushed as it occurred to her the way her words could have been taken. "I meant I'll have a tea please, and you're not spending another night on the sofa."

"Right," Harry said, as his blood pressure went back down to normal. He made her tea and gave her her painkillers before putting some bread in the toaster.

"Thank you," Ruth said quietly. Nothing further was said until Harry put two plates of toast on the table. "This is strange," Ruth said. "I wake up and usually have a million things to do. Now… nothing."

"I thought we could go and peruse a few bookshops," Harry suggested, buttering his toast. "In the rush to escape London, books weren't the first thing on my list. And get whatever else you need. I just grabbed things from your house, so I'm sure you're missing things."

"That sounds good," Ruth said. "Are you sure you won't get bored watching me browse for hours on end?"

"I'm sure," Harry said.

"Okay," Ruth said happily. She took her pills and when she'd finished her breakfast she blushed again when she thought of something.

"What is it?" Harry asked.

"Er…" Ruth looked at the table. "I'll need some help… getting dressed." She bit her lip and still didn't look at him.

"Ruth its fine," he said firmly. "I don't mind."

"I hate asking," she said fervently.

"Don't worry," he said, sensing how awkward she felt about this. "We're both adults. I won't look."

"I know you won't," she said. "You're far too much of a gentleman for that." Did he imagine the slight tone of disappointment there? Judging by the blush on her cheeks, he hadn't. But he didn't say anything that might upset the status quo.

Instead he followed Ruth to the bathroom and waited for her to call for his help. A quiet "Harry" was all he needed. He went in, and with only a little less difficulty than the night before, fastened her bra.

"Thank you," she murmured. He said nothing, instead he allowed his hand to drift down her back, his fingertips grazing her skin and making her breath catch. She stayed perfectly still, wanting to know what he'd do next. Wanting to feel his electric touch… everywhere. She gasped when she felt him press his lips very briefly to her shoulder.

"Sorry," he said almost instantly.

She turned a little so she could look in his eyes. "Are you?"

"No." She smiled to herself. "I'll leave you to it. Unless you need more help."

Unfortunately, she knew she could do the rest herself. "I'll be fine." Harry nodded and then shut the door, leaving her alone. Ruth let out a breath, feeling her heart race and leaned against the door until she felt she could stand without her knees shaking. Why, God why did this man do this to her? She wasn't a naïve virgin so why did one touch from him literally leave her breathless? And yearning for so much more. She shook her head to clear her thoughts and continued getting dressed.

* * *

They were both in the car with Harry driving and nothing much had been said between them. Ruth had been slightly distracted by the fact she had so rarely seen Harry in casual clothes. He wore jeans and a light blue shirt which had made it difficult for Ruth to tear her eyes off of him. It had also made it rather difficult to string a sentence together. By the time they were in the car, Ruth was getting over the shock of seeing him dressed so differently to usual.

"You're quiet," Harry said.

"I know," she replied. "I'm finding this a bit odd." She sighed. "I've barely ever seen you outside work, and now we're going to be filling our days together. It's… strange."

"I can leave you alone," Harry said, not voicing how much this would hurt him. "I don't have to stay with you of you want to be on your own."

"No, don't be silly," Ruth said. "I love that you're here looking after me. And I feel… special that you… want to be here with me." She blushed, feeling that she might have said too much. Harry on the other hand felt his heart leap. But he didn't say anything to pursue that thought. Instead he concentrated on parking the car. "That wasn't far," Ruth said.

"No," Harry agreed. She smiled at him as they walked up the high street together.

* * *

They spent a wonderful day together. Never had they simply had the time to discuss things before. Their conversations had always been about the current terrorist threat of the day. It was relaxing to be able to talk without the pressure of catching criminals. That and buy several stacks of books. Books which Harry refused to let Ruth carry, not that she was surprised. They had a great lunch together and eventually Harry couldn't carry any more books. So they went home, the slight tension between them having vanished in a lovely day together. Unfortunately, Harry brought it back rather quickly.

"I need to ask you something," he said in the car. Ruth nodded and waited. "Why do you run from me?"

Ruth sighed and looked at her hands. Harry had purposefully asked her this while in the car, so she couldn't run away or dodge the question. "Honestly… I'm not really sure," she said. "I don't want to. And I've made a decision that I'm not going to run from you any more."

"When did you make that decision?" Harry asked, surprised.

"Around the time I broke my arm and my world fell to pieces," Ruth said. "When it was far too late."

"Its not too late," he said. She caught his eyes for a long moment. He only looked away because he was driving and supposed to be looking at the road.

"You promise its not too late?" Ruth questioned quietly. So quietly that Harry could pretend not to have heard it. He looked at her, surprised and pleased.

"I promise," he murmured. A highly uncomfortable silence filled the car. They almost didn't dare breathe. "We'll be at the cottage in a minute."

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**Thank you so much for the reviews, and I hope this is an enjoyable instalment.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you so much for the reviews. I know I'm repeating myself but they really mean a lot to me.**

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That night Ruth changed for bed alone. She'd managed on her own, and she didn't know if she was relieved or disappointed that she didn't need Harry's help. When in her PJ's she went through to the bedroom, and found herself on her own. She got in bed and delved into her book, one of her latest acquisitions and waited for Harry to join her. About half an hour later there was no sign of him and she slipped her bookmark in, to go and find him. She found him on the sofa, clearly uncomfortable as he tried to get to sleep.

"There's a perfectly good bed," Ruth said quietly, making him sit up and face her. "I don't bite you know. Well, not unless asked nicely." Harry's jaw dropped for a moment or two before he got control of himself and she laughed. "That sofa's not comfortable to sleep on. Come on."

He didn't argue and followed her into the bedroom. If his back had been in better shape or he hadn't been so sleepless he might have stayed on the sofa, but as it was… Ruth got into bed and after a moment, Harry followed suit on the other side. He couldn't deny that the mattress felt wonderful on his back after the old springs of the sofa. Ruth picked up her book and opened it before glancing at Harry. He was laying rigidly, arms clamped to his sides and Ruth smiled to herself. She said nothing and continued to read, hoping that with a bit of time he'd relax. She read another chapter before he shifted a little, making himself more comfortable. Ruth smiled to herself and about five minutes later he turned on his side, facing her.

"I can't sleep on my back," he said quietly.

"You don't have to explain," she said without looking up from the page. She attempted to carry on reading but didn't get far at all. Because she knew Harry was watching her and studying her face with intense concentration. Ruth closed her book, put it on the bedside table and then looked at him. He hadn't moved a muscle, except to smile at her slightly.

"You are looking at me."

"I know," he agreed. She sighed, not really upset or exasperated. Instead she moved towards him, intending to kiss him. But he stopped her. He put one hand on her shoulder and the other on her uninjured wrist. "Ruth…"

"What?" she asked confused. She'd thought he'd welcome a kiss from her. Was she deluded?

"I need your word that you won't run from me again," he said. "I can't have more sleepless nights thinking about you. Like I had at Havensworth, wondering what I'd done wrong."

"Harry…"

"I mean it," he said, his voice quiet but reverberating with a passion that she hadn't yet experienced. One that already made her long for him. And she hadn't needed any help with that in the first place.

"I only run because I'm scared," she said quietly.

"Why?" he asked, letting her go. Did he really frighten her?

"I'm scared… of the way you make me feel," Ruth admitted. She kept her eyes on him. She owed him that. "You touch my hand and I… it feels electric. It scares me how intensely I feel. About you." Her face was red but Harry was elated by her words and thrilled that she didn't look away. "I want us. And I mean it."

"Good," Harry said, smiling at her. She smiled back and leaned in for a kiss. He didn't stop her this time. She softly pressed her lips against his, the first time she'd kissed a man in years. It was only brief. Or that was the intention. As soon as his warm lips responded to her she just couldn't back away. He kissed so well. She flicked her tongue against his lips and he opened his mouth to her. Their kiss was long, warm, delicious and passionate and she never wanted it to end. Harry's hand found her waist and he was holding her tightly. Her only disappointment was that his hand hadn't found its way under her top. Eventually the kiss came to an end. When she opened her eyes she found Harry watching her, his hazel eyes warm on her face.

"Goodnight Ruth," he said quietly.

"Goodnight." He pressed his lips to her cheek and she smiled. When she closed her eyes and went to sleep, she was happier than she'd been in years.

Harry watched her sleep for long minutes. She'd kissed him. Ruth had kissed him. He couldn't believe that. He never thought he'd be lucky enough to experience that. He watched her in the quiet of the night until he felt his own eyes drifting closed. And he slept very well that night.

* * *

Ruth awoke and was disappointed to find herself alone in bed. She hadn't dreamed last night had she? No. Harry's kiss was so real, she could still feel the echoes of it on her lips. She got up and went in search of him. She found him in the kitchen making scrambled eggs.

"Morning," she said.

"Good morning," he replied, smiling at her in a way that made it perfectly clear she hadn't imagined their romantic embrace the night before. "You slept like a log."

"What time is it?"

"Ten," Harry said. "I was going to wake you for breakfast in bed.

"I have a broken arm, I'm not incapable."

"I know that," Harry said, smiling at her. He plated up their eggs but when he put the plate in front of Ruth, he paused. She looked at him curiously. "Can I… kiss you good morning?" If she didn't know him so well, she wouldn't be able to tell he was nervous. But she did, and she knew. So she didn't leave him in suspense for long.

"If you want to," she said, but her bright eyes and the smile hovering on her lips was enough of a give away that she wanted what he had suggested. He brushed her hair away from her face and leaned over her, kissing her so softly and gently that it made her heart skip a beat or two. When he released her it took a moment to realise that she was supposed to be eating breakfast. She was getting used to eating with only her left hand now, and it didn't take long before their plates were clean.

"Do you need any help getting dressed?" Harry asked in an almost pornographic tone of voice that made her blush.

"No thank you," she said. "I bought some bras that fasten at the front yesterday. I'll be fine."

_She doesn't want you touching her_. Harry thought this instantly and felt his heart drop. He looked at his empty plate but didn't say anything. He didn't know how to word it. "Harry?"

"I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable," he said, his voice low and emotionless.

"It isn't that," she said. She reached across the table and held his hand, as if reading his mind. "I don't want you touching me because you _have_ to. I want it to happen because you _want_ to."

"Oh." She smiled at him again, squeezed his hand once more and then got up.

"I'll be back in a minute." Harry nodded and watched her leave. When he was alone he sighed and put the dishes in the sink. He wanted to touch her so badly. He guessed he'd just have to wait for things to happen with time. After all, they were stuck here together for the foreseeable future. Who knew what would happen?

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**That's as far as I planned! I'm sure there'll be more soon.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I know I end this chapter at a horrible place, but it was either that, or wait until tomorrow with a longer offering. So I posted now, Enjoy.**

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The days passed slowly. They spent most of their time together, either walking in the countryside or quietly in the house together. It was a much slower way of life, but Ruth was not unhappy. She enjoyed that they were getting to know each other away from the pressured environment of the grid.

However, Ruth felt herself incredibly disappointed with the fact that Harry hadn't touched her any further. They had shared a dozen or so kisses, good morning and good night ones, but nothing more. It surprised her immensely. Her experience of men seemed to point to the fact that sex was a major factor in relationships. It did not seem this way with Harry, but then that shouldn't surprise her. Harry was not like other men, she knew that anyway. But she was beginning to wonder.

Over the days she had started to wear less in bed, usually an old t shirt and her knickers, but Harry had never been tempted to touch her. Or if he had, he was hiding it incredibly well. He stuck rigidly to his side of the bed and seemed immovable. As the days passed Ruth was becoming more and more convinced that he didn't find her sexually attractive. He liked her and respected her. Probably more than liked her, because otherwise he wouldn't be stuck here in this tiny cottage with her. But did he want her? She was starting to doubt it. And whenever she thought about it, it made her heart sink. But she didn't know how to bring it up without seeming desperate.

There was an idea she'd had. But she didn't know if she'd be brave enough to go through with it. If she did, it might force Harry's hand. One way or another. No Ruth, don't think. Just do it! She closed her book quietly and glanced at Harry, who was muttering curses at the ten o'clock news. "Harry?"

He immediately muted the television and turned to her, as the tone in her voice gave it away that something was wrong. "What is it?"

"I'd… like your help," she admitted slowly. "With my arm like it is… I can't really… wash my hair properly. If its not too much to ask… I need your help." She didn't dare look up, as she knew she was stretching the truth. It was difficult as the house didn't have a shower, only an old bath but she could manage it. But looking away gave Harry a few precious seconds to think. He couldn't rightly say no, after all he was here to help her and look after her. But the temptation of Ruth naked in the bath… even the idea was almost more than he could stand. And he was not unaware that she'd already managed on her own at least once before. So she must have a reason for asking his help.

"Of course," he said, thinking he'd have to have a grip of steel on his self control. He might be all right if Ruth was in the water when he entered the bathroom. Otherwise… God knows what could happen.

Ruth smiled tightly and got up. "I'll call you when I'm in the bath then?" she suggested quietly. Harry nodded, needing those extra few minutes to compose himself. He put his head in his hands, desperately trying not to think about Ruth naked. Which would prove all the more difficult when he went in the bathroom, that he knew. In no time at all he heard a quiet "Harry" and he opened the door.

Her face was turned to him and she looked nervous. _Glad I'm not the only one,_ Harry thought instantly. He saw her injured arm resting on the side of the bath, covered in plastic so as not to get wet, but otherwise she was submerged in the water, steam rising off the surface. Harry said nothing, instead he knelt at the head of the bath. Her hair was already wet so he reached for the shampoo and started lathering her hair. The silence was uncomfortable but Ruth didn't know what to say. Plus his fingers on her scalp were very soothing. He was good at this. She tried not to think of the other women he might have done this to because it wasn't a pleasant thought. Luckily Harry's fingers were exceptionally good at driving out bad thoughts.

"You're tempting me Ruth."

"Hmm?" Ruth asked, coming back to herself.

"I know that you've managed on your own before," Harry said quietly, his fingers still working on her hair. "So I am guessing that you have asked for my help for another reason. My only assumption is that you're trying to tempt me. Which I don't need help with."

"Its not that," Ruth said quietly. He started to rinse her hair. "Well, not only that," she said smiling. "I did struggle last time on my own. And I thought that… with me in the bath it might give you a... nudge in the right direction."

"What on earth do you mean by that?" Harry asked bewildered.

"You don't touch me," she said, glad that she wasn't looking at him at the moment. "You seem to hold me at arms length. I'm beginning to wonder if… if you find me attractive."

Harry's hands paused on her hair. He couldn't believe she thought that. Even had it cross her mind! He whispered to her. "How can you even think that?" he asked, not stopping his hands from moving over her hair. "Its just the opposite. I don't touch you because I'm scared I won't be able to stop."

She turned to face him, making the water ripple and her breasts rise almost out of the water. Harry swallowed uncomfortably. This was too close. "I haven't asked you to stop."

"I know," he said. "Let me finish your hair." She turned back as he rinsed and she could almost feel the electricity crackling in the air between them. Harry finished his task and then stayed perfectly still. Ruth was the one who made things move. She turned in the water, her eyes darting all over his face.

"Kiss me." He smiled slightly at her and obliged. With her wet hair clutched in one hand, he leaned in and kissed her with as much passion as he had in him. When he released her, her blue eyes were burning and she was breathless. For a moment she was still. Then she reached for the plug of the bath and pulled it out. She no longer wanted to be in a position where she couldn't touch him if she wanted to. Harry froze, knowing that very soon Ruth would be naked, without even the flimsiest barrier hiding her from view. He got up and reached for a towel, which he held up to her. He looked away as she wrapped it around herself.

Looking away at that moment was the biggest test of his willpower he'd had in years. When she was covered she stepped out of the bath. She pressed her body against his lightly, her eyes connected with his as she bit her bottom lip. "Thank you." She smiled slightly, as if knowing what effect she was having on him and then walked through to the bedroom, leaving Harry to recover his composure.

After a moment or two he followed after her.


	6. M rated

**As you might have guessed from the end of the last chapter, this one is M rated. Hope its okay...**

* * *

Harry found her in bed, the towel discarded on the floor and knew she was wearing nothing. She smiled at him as he sat on the edge of the bed on his side his head in his hands. "Harry?"

"I just need a minute."

"Look, forget it," Ruth said, getting out of bed. She sighed and found a jumper which she threw over herself. It just about covered enough to be dignified.

"Goodnight." She got into bed and turned the light off, rolled on her side so she wasn't facing him.

"Ruth…"

"No. Don't Ruth me. Either talk to me properly or be quiet and let me sleep. I really don't mind which."

"Ruth…"

"No! I want you to touch me, but I don't want you to act like you're marching to your death while you do it! Just forget it. I'm not in the mood now anyway. I'm going to sleep." Harry had a feeling that suggesting he sleep on the sofa would be a bad move too, so for a moment he didn't say anything. Then he made a decision. To stop thinking, and just do what he wanted. Stop thinking if it were best for them in the long run, just act. After all, they had long enough in this cottage together.

He reached for her hip and gently rolled her over. She didn't resist and when on her back, he could feel her eyes glaring at him in the dark. "Ruth, I don't want to hurt you in any way," he said quietly. "I'm trying to resist the most beautiful woman in the world." Ruth rolled her eyes. She didn't believe either part of that sentence.

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to get hurt," he said quietly. "I know you promised you wouldn't, but I don't want to be pushed away from you. It will be even harder to cope with… after."

"That's the only reason?" she asked, sitting up slightly.

"What else would there be?"

"I don't know," she said quietly. "I never usually have to drop hints when I want sex from a man." Her lips were twitching and he knew she was trying to wind him up. Unfortunately it was working. He put both hands on her hips and lowered his face, brushing the tip of his nose against hers. She laughed. "Sorry," she said. "That wasn't nice."

"No. It wasn't." He kissed her intensely and she groaned as he pushed his weight against her. He felt so solid and good hovering over her. She just wished her right arm wasn't in a cast. It would make her fingers sneaking under the hem of his shirt much easier than it currently was. He pushed his leg between hers slowly and Ruth moaned, her lips still on his, as she was closer to Harry than she ever dreamed she would be. He tangled his fingers in her wet hair, holding her close as she tightened her legs around him.

For a moment she felt suddenly vulnerable as she realised the only thing stopping Harry seeing her naked was an old baggy jumper. Then that faded quickly as Harry stroked her thigh. His fingers felt so good on her still slightly damp skin. She pulled his shirt up but was irritated that it still clung on. With only one working arm it was difficult. "Would you do me a favour and get rid of your shirt?" Ruth asked when the frustration was becoming overwhelming.

"If you let me turn the lamp on?" he bargained. She stayed silent for a moment. "I want to see you," he said, hoping he hadn't put his foot in it. He removed his shirt while she thought about it. When the fabric hit the floor he was momentarily blinded by the light. He looked at her face and saw her nervously smiling. Her eyes wandered over him and she gasped when she reached his stomach. A massive patch of skin, about twice the size of her hand looked like it had been burned off. A horrible red colour and puckered tissue marring his skin, but it looked old too.

"What happened?"

"Sorry, I should have warned you," he said. "I was in Ireland during the heyday of the IRA. I don't want to go into it, but essentially I was caught and tortured. Don't worry. I'm fine."

"Does it hurt?"

"Not any more," he said. "It did for about six months after though. Sorry."

"No. Don't apologise," she said. "I'm just surprised. I hadn't expected to see anything so…"

"Hideous?"

"No. Painful." she put her hand over the wound gently. She would have kissed it but she was enjoying their legs being entwined too much to move that far. "I will never find you hideous Harry," she said quietly. "Not any part of you."

"Thank you for that Ruth," he said, a smile hovering on his lips. "Where were we?" Ruth didn't think. She placed Harry's hand on the inside of her thigh.

"I think we were right about there," she said, her voice low and passionate.

"So we were," he agreed. He caught her lips in a searing kiss as her good hand travelled all over his chest and his back. Slowly and teasingly. His hand slid up her leg and his fingers brushed between her legs softly. Her breathing hitched for a moment. He kept touching her, feather light.

"Tell me what you like Ruth," he demanded.

"No," she said. "Its much more fun if you work it out for yourself. He kissed her deeply for that and then moved his hands elsewhere. He kept his hands rising, under her jumper, to the dip of her waist and higher over her ribcage. His touch was so soft that she found herself sighing underneath him without even meaning to.

"I am… really enjoying this," she started. "But there's a bit too much clothing for me."

"You only had to ask," he said. She laughed, feeling more carefree and happy than she had in years. They quickly removed the rest of their clothing and returned to their previous position with smiles. Harry caressed her breasts carefully and then pinched her nipples, making her moan. She reached for his penis and stroked him gently and he groaned into her neck, licking all the skin he could reach. "Oh keep going… that feels… oh Ruth…" She laughed lightly, but did as he asked. A minute or two later he bit her earlobe but moved her hand away. "I don't want to… not too soon." He kissed her yet again and then moved, kissing his way down her body. Very soon he reached between her legs.

"Oh God! Harry…" He licked and kissed her exquisitely. God he knew what to do with a woman. This was heaven. Her fingers tangled in his hair, urging him on. He was more than happy to oblige. He brought her incredibly close to orgasm but didn't push her over the edge. He straightened up as her breathing came back to normal. "That was mean," she said, glaring at him.

"I'll make it up to you," he said, his chest brushing against hers as he pushed into her slowly. Ruth felt her world reduced to this. The man she loved stretching her and filling her in the most intimate way possible. It had been years since she'd had sex with anyone, but with Harry this felt so right.

"Oh God," Ruth whispered. Her fingers clutched his shoulders as he moved so slowly inside her. Harry kissed her lovingly and slowly as he picked up the speed. It had been too long coming between the pair of them to draw it out. She felt herself so close to orgasm, she just needed a push over the edge. Harry pushed into her hard and groaned into her neck as they climaxed together. It hadn't lasted long at all, but it had been incredible. Harry collapsed on top of her and it felt wonderful to be squashed by him.

Ruth was halfway to sleep when she felt Harry lift himself off of her. "Sorry, I don't mean to crush you."

"Mm… its fine," she murmured. "I like feeling you on me," she said. "In every way."  
Harry kissed her cheek as he threw the duvet cover over them both. Ruth was almost asleep when she heard (or thought she heard) Harry whisper "I love you." Before she could open her eyes or formulate words, sleep took her.


	7. Chapter 7

**This is going to be the last "happy" chapter. Things are going to get a bit dark from here. That said, enjoy!**

* * *

Ruth awoke first in the morning. Her body felt tender and well loved and she felt happy. Turning to Harry she saw his face looked relaxed. In sleep he looked much younger and less careworn. She wanted to stroke his face, but didn't want to disturb him. Instead she reached for her jumper and threw it on, noticing the discarded clothes all over the bedroom floor. With half a smile she went into the kitchen to start breakfast. It took her a while, but she was pleased that when she brought bacon, eggs, toast and two mugs of tea into the bedroom that Harry was still asleep. It didn't last long as the smell of bacon roused him. He looked at her, a male self satisfied smile on his face as he caught her eye.

"Your breakfast is getting cold," Ruth said. Harry tore his eyes away from her and grabbed his plate. Breakfast was delicious. Instead of taking his tea, he leaned on his elbow and watched Ruth.

"You're watching me," Ruth said quietly.

"You're dressed," he complained, pouting like a schoolboy.

"I threw a jumper on, that's hardly dressed." Harry raised his eyebrow and then slid his hand over her thighs. And higher.

"No, you have a point," he agreed, making her chuckle. "So, what do you want to do today?" Ruth said nothing, but looked at the bed pointedly. Harry smiled. "I'm not exactly a young man," he said. "I might need a bit of recovery time if you expect all day in bed."

"It's a good thing that we have nowhere else to be then, isn't it?" Ruth said. Harry laughed and took her into his arms, never wanting to let her go.

* * *

At about one in the afternoon Ruth's mind began to wake up. Harry was dozing, but she remembered what he'd said to her last night, when she'd almost been asleep. She gave Harry a nudge before she could stop herself. He grunted.

"What?"

"You said you loved me," Ruth said, her eyes wide.

"No I didn't," he said.

"Yes you did. Last night."

"I did not say I "loved" you," he said, emphasising that word. "I said I love you. Its never past tense with you. It will never be "I loved you once." But yes, I did say that in regards to the sentiment."

"Why?"

"Why do I love you?" he asked, confused.

"No. Why did you say it when I was almost asleep?"

"Because I needed to," he said. "It didn't matter whether you could hear me, I just needed to say it. Not that it makes it any less true." He stroked her hair gently as she smiled to herself.

"I…"

"No." Harry covered her lips with his fingers so she couldn't speak. "I don't want you to say it just because I did." Ruth kissed his fingertips before he dropped them, a smile on his face.

"A few months ago, after… Colin died. And Myers and his friends put you in that detention centre, I was terrified. I thought… I was scared you were going to die before we could stop it from happening.

"Join the club," Harry said fervently. He'd thought he'd be killed before section D could find him too.

"When I got home that night I realised just how much I wouldn't be able to cope if I lost you. It… changed my perspective somewhat."

"I don't intend to go anywhere Ruth," he said quietly.

"Good," she said. Harry kissed her hair and then got up, deciding it was probably time he got dressed. Ruth watched his naked body for as long as she could, before he covered his legs with his jeans. He was still shirtless and her eyes ran over him. She saw the old burn on his stomach, the gunshot wound on his shoulder from Tom… a myriad of old and newer scars and it didn't matter. She knew without a shadow of a doubt that this was the man she simply couldn't live without.

"I love you Harry." She was lying in bed, hugging her knees and watching him as he froze, a smile on her lips. "And I'm not saying it because I have to. I'm saying it because its true." He smiled at her and leaned over the bed, kissing her softly. He held her so gently she felt treasured.

"I love you too," he said, his eyes sparkling at her. The moment was broken by Harry's stomach rumbling loudly and she laughed. "I guess I'll make us some lunch."

"That'd be nice."

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**Thank you for the reviews so far, and if you have the time, another one would be wonderful!**


	8. Chapter 8

The days passed into weeks and their happy "honeymoon-ish" glow had faded somewhat. They still enjoyed the nights together, but the days were empty and dragged on. Ruth had taken to going for walks through the countryside through the mornings and coming back for lunch. Everyday she came back later and later and it seemed that she was locking herself away. Not telling him what she really thought. They still connected physically and their nights were more than passionate and entertaining, but throughout the days… He knew she was missing her life in London, but it didn't stop him from being worried.

One afternoon Ruth hadn't come back. It was two o'clock and apart from the fact she was usually back by now, the heavens opened, rain pouring into the valley. Harry became more worried than usual. He only waited five minutes before he put his raincoat and his boots on, and went to try and find her. (Her mobile phone still in the bedroom, useless.) But in those five minutes his mind had concocted all sorts of horror scenarios. She'd fallen and broken her leg. She'd lost her way back to the house. Or worse. Someone from London had found out where they were and had taken her. Were torturing her. _Stop it Harry. It'll be something simple_. But he couldn't stop worrying.

As it happened, it only took twenty minutes to find her. She was half a mile from the house, sitting on a wooden bridge over a tiny stream, her feet dipping in the water. She was wet through. She didn't even hear him approach until he stood on the bridge, his footsteps drowned by the thundering rain.

"You're going to freeze," he said quietly. She didn't respond. With a sigh as his knees cracked, he sat down next to her, but facing the opposite way so he could see her face. That's when he realised she was crying. It had been hard to tell because of the rain. "I was worried about you."

"Sorry," she said, not looking at him.

"What's wrong?" he said. It took about five minutes for her to answer, and he didn't think she would.

"Before I start… I want to say that it isn't you," she said. Harry nodded. "I'm so lonely Harry." He reached for her hand and held it gently. She was freezing but he didn't say anything. "I miss my life in London. I miss my cats, I miss being able to walk down the street without being frightened that every unexpected noise is someone realising I'm still alive and should be in prison. I miss work, I miss being useful and feeling like I'm making a difference everyday. I love my job, you know that, and here I feel… so useless. I have more free time than I've had in my entire life… and I'm bored. I'm staring at the same walls everyday and I feel like I'm old and dried up before my time."

She wiped her face angrily, annoyed that she was still crying. "I hate staring at the same four walls all the time. I just want to go home."

"I know," he said quietly. "You just have to keep thinking that you're safe."

"I know," she said, shaking her head. "I should be grateful that I'm not rotting in prison, and that I'm safe. And I am grateful for all you've done for me. But I'm not happy Harry. I'm scared all the time."

"Malcolm's working on it. I spoke to him this morning," Harry said.

"And?"

"He's teamed up with someone in section A. Don't worry," he added at the alarm on her face. "Someone else was added in the documents as a cover. So they couldn't expose it, like we couldn't. He's similarly hidden away somewhere in Scotland. His friends want the original documents to prove that he's innocent. Which plays into what we want. So Malcolm has some help. It shouldn't be long Ruth."

"Well, that's good news," she said to herself, watching the river. "Harry?"

"What?" he asked, sensing that she was thinking of something important.

"I'm terrified. Because I think I'm pregnant." Harry froze. He hadn't been expecting that. "My periods late," she added. "And we haven't been careful either." This was perfectly true, they hadn't even thought about it. In that respect they'd been as stupid as teenagers. Or that was how Ruth felt anyway.

"Are you sure?"

Ruth shrugged. "Fairly," she said. "I'm so scared Harry." She burst into tears again and Harry pulled her into his arms. His mind was running a hundred miles an hour. Ruth could be pregnant. She could be carrying his child. At least, he assumed it was his. That might be… an awkward question to ask later.

"I need to get you back to the house," he said, as he thought about the possibility of a baby in their lives. So, as he was leading her back to the house, he was more than a little distracted.

* * *

Ruth changed into some dry clothes, her old ones hanging by the fire and starting to steam slightly. Towel drying her hair, she went into the kitchen to see Harry staring out of the window, lost in thought. Ruth put the kettle on for a cup of tea and grabbed two mugs for Harry.

"You're not happy," Harry said quietly. "That you're pregnant."

"That I might be," Ruth corrected. "And no. I'm not."

"Is it mine?" Harry asked before he could stop himself, thinking that that might be a reason for her sadness about the pregnancy.

"How dare you! Of course its yours!" Ruth glared at him, her eyes on fire. "Who else's would it be?!"

"I was only asking," he said, trying to keep calm.

"Okay then," Ruth said angrily as she thrust two teabags in their mugs. "How many women are you sleeping with at the moment?"

"Just you," he said calmly. "You know that." He covered her hand with his but she shrugged him off. She was upset and angry, he could sense that. And see it. "Why are you so upset?"

"Because I never planned to get pregnant like this," Ruth said, not looking at him. "Ideally, I'd like to have my own house, not hiding out in the middle of nowhere. I'd have a job. And I wouldn't get pregnant so early in our relationship. God, I've been so stupid!" Harry looked at her, his patience beginning to wear out. She was acting like this was the end of the world. While, yes it was a shock, that wasn't how Harry felt. Harry felt it was a world full of opportunities. Not a thing to be depressed about. They could have a baby. It could be their tiny little miracle.

"You should take the test," Harry said firmly. "Its all ifs and buts until you do."

"I know." Ruth sighed heavily. "But I know what it'll say. I've never been this late before."

Harry couldn't bear to be in the house with Ruth, who seemed so unhappy about the prospect of a baby with him. It was driving him past distraction and he needed time to clear his head. "I'll be back in an hour or so," he said picking up the car keys. Ruth watched him go and said nothing. When he shut the door behind him, Ruth winced, the bang going straight through her. Why hadn't she kept her mouth shut? At least until she was handling this with a bit more tact. She could tell from his face, rather than anything he'd said that her reaction had disappointed him. That the news of her being pregnant was a good thing from his perspective. Which surprised her. They'd never even mentioned children. Ruth wanted kids in the abstract way of them "being in the future" rather than something to worry about right now. She'd just assumed that Harry would think he was too old to have any more children. That was with the limited amount of thought she'd put into it.

With her circumstances at the moment, finding herself pregnant was less than ideal. And she was terrified of the situation this baby would be born into. She should have been on birth control. "How stupid can you get Ruth?" she whispered.

She had been so caught up in having Harry all to herself that she hadn't given it any thought at all. Which was so unlike her. The one time in her life she hadn't planned ahead and this happened. "Clearly I was not built for spontaneous behaviour. This is why I plan everything!" She rubbed her face vigorously, and tried to think clearly. She knew Harry would bring a pregnancy test back with him, but she didn't need to take it. She was eight days late. Never in her life had she been this late before. Usually she was as regular as clockwork. She knew she was pregnant. At one of the most inconvenient times imaginable.

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**Thank you for the reviews so far. Hope you (maybe) liked this chapter!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Wow! Opinion was really split for the last chapter! Some people loved it and some people didn't like it at all. Thank you all for the reviews, all the same. Just a small update to try and put a slightly nicer spin on it.**

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Ruth was sitting down, staring absent mindedly out of the window when Harry came back. His coat was dripping wet, so he shed it, hung it up by the fire and then returned to the kitchen. He put a pregnancy test on the table in silence. "You need to take it."

"I know." She looked at him and the disappointment on his face was clear. "I'm sorry I've disappointed you," she said honestly. "I don't mean to let you down."

"I'm not let down," he said. "I just don't understand. Why you're so upset."

"Because I'm angry at my own stupidity," Ruth said. "I never even gave birth control any thought. I was so wrapped up in you." She allowed herself a happy and wistful smile. "I was so happy that after all this time we were finally together that I didn't give it any thought."

"Neither did I," Harry said honestly. "And it was probably rather… dense of us."

"Mm," Ruth agreed. "Two intelligent people forgetting something so simple." Harry reached across the table and held her hand gently.

"I'm sorry I asked… if it were mine," Harry said as Ruth glared at him for the reminder. "It was tactless. I just thought…for a second, there might have been someone in London before all hell broke loose." Ruth still glared at him, so he continued. "But I realised that I was just being stupid."

"Yes you were," Ruth said firmly. "I'll take the test." She let go of his hand to pick up the box and she took it out of the box, biting her lip. Then, all of a sudden she got up and went to the bathroom. Harry stayed put,waiting, almost without breathing. About three minutes later she came back, the test in her hand. She passed it to Harry and the tiny blue plus sign was very clear. He couldn't help it. His face broke into a wide and happy grin.

"We're going to have a baby!" Harry whispered, very eager and happy. So much so that it was infectious and she couldn't help but smile a little back. Ruth felt him grab her hand tightly. "I'm so happy Ruth."

"I can see that," Ruth said.

"Why aren't you?" he asked, almost desperately.

"Its not that I'm not happy." He raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "I know I'm not showing it but... Its just… I need time to get used to it," she said. "That's all. Look, it took us years to get to our first kiss. Rushing things isn't really me!"

"I know," he said. He pulled her into his arms and held her gently. "Promise me… you won't do anything stupid."

"What do you mean?" Ruth asked. She drew back from him and looked at him curiously. "God, no. No Harry, I wouldn't… do _that_. Of course I wouldn't."

"Just checking," he said, unable to hide the relief that she wasn't even thinking about having an abortion.

"I'll come around to the idea. Soon," she said. "I promise."

"Good," Harry said. He kissed her fervently and she responded eagerly. It was a long time before they surfaced for air, and when they did, they were both smiling.

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**Hope this makes up somewhat for the last chapter. :)**


	10. Chapter 10

Two days later, things changed. Ruth was almost asleep when Harry's mobile rang, jarring her awake. She listened to one side of the conversation in confusion, and Harry's frown did not make her feel confident at all. All she worked out was that he was talking to Malcolm. By the time he disconnected the call he looked less than happy. He got into bed next to her and sighed.

"What is it?" Ruth asked quietly.

"I have to go back to London," he said. "And as soon as possible."

"Why?" Ruth asked, fear suddenly filling her. "Is something wrong?"

"Not as such," he said. "But I've been away from my job long enough. And questions are being asked. About my ability to cope in a high pressured environment if I need to take a month off because one of my officers dies. I've been given extra time because of… our relationship, but that's run out."

"Ah," Ruth said. "I understand. So you're leaving?"

"I have to," he said. "I'll lose my job, which isn't what either of us want. We're trying to get yours back after all. Plus I'll have to keep us in nappies."

Ruth didn't find the attempt at humour funny. "Will it be okay?"

"Yeah, of course. I'll probably be subjected to some psychological evaluation, but I'm sure it'll be fine. I'll charm her."

"But not too much," she said, smiling at him. "I don't want you to charm the psychologist so much so that she falls in love with you."

"I think the danger of that happening is very minimal," Harry said. "You seem calmer," he said, changing the subject. "And happier."

"I am calmer," she said. "I've had time to think about it. And get over my mini meltdown. I'm still not happy that I'm pregnant when my house is currently owned by an MI5 hidden account and that I'm pretending to be dead. Its less than ideal Harry, whichever way you look at it."

"I know," he agreed. "Its not ideal. But I'm never going to regret our child."

"I didn't say I regretted it," she said. "And I know that when I hold our newborn, I will be thrilled and emotional and a thousand other things that new mothers feel."

"Sound less enthused," he said sarcastically.

"You know what I mean," Ruth said, smiling at him. "I'm not going to go all gooey over my pregnancy every day for the next nine months. Anyway, apart from being damn inconvenient timing, I am looking forward to our child. And I've made an appointment for my first scan. Which, now you probably won't be able to come to," she added sadly.

"When? Which hospital? With which identity?" He spoke very quickly and Ruth raised her eyebrows at him.

"Rachel Evans," she said. "The seventeenth at St Mary's."

"I'll be there."

"You can't promise that Harry. Not when you're going back to London," Ruth said. "So don't promise. Not if I'm only going to be let down. I'll hate going without you anyway," she added bitterly.

"You will not be going without me," Harry said firmly. "I'll leave Adam in charge. God knows he's had enough practice."

"Fine," Ruth said. "So I'll be here on my own then?"

"Yes," he said. "I'm sorry. I don't want to leave you."

"Promise me you'll call me," she said, letting go of rationality and sounding near desperation for a moment. "I don't like being so far away from human activity anyway, but I need to know you'll call."

"Of course I will," he said. "Every day."

"Good," she said, looking a little relieved. "And I want to be in my own house by the time this one's kicking. Otherwise I'm going to be pissed off."

"It's going to be sorted out soon, I know it," Harry said. "Malcolm said he was close."

"God I hope so." Ruth buried her head in his chest. "When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow. I'm sorry," he added at her gasp.

"This is so bloody unfair," Ruth said as Harry stroked her hair. "We give our lives for our country and we're rewarded with prison or an early grave. I hate this."

"I know." Harry kissed her gently. "You know, when the baby's born… you don't have to go back to work if you don't want to. This'll all be sorted out by then."

"No," she said. "I can't give up work just because I'm a mother. I don't want that to be all I am. I like to be busy, and I like my job."

"Okay," he said. "Dropped."

"Good, thank you." She shifted in the bed closer to him and Harry kissed her hair again as her hands wandered over his chest slowly. "Well, as you're abandoning me…"

"I'm not abandoning you, I have no choice," Harry interrupted.

"Let me finish," Ruth said, her eyes wide. Harry nodded once. "As you're abandoning me tomorrow we should make tonight count." Her hand drifted lower and he got the point, grinning at her. Not since the day on the bridge when Ruth had been crying had they made love. It was only three days ago but it felt like a lot longer. A lot had happened since then.

It was slow and tender and breathtaking between them. Ruth found herself collapsed on Harry's chest, her body exhausted, sated and satisfied. She drifted off to sleep instantly. Harry didn't. He held her gently and wondered when he'd next be able to do this.


	11. Chapter 11

The next morning Harry woke early. Ruth was sleeping on her stomach, her hair fanned over her face and he thought she had never looked more beautiful. He smiled at her as he got up and dressed quickly and silently. The duvet was hitched around her waist, just about covering her decency. He had a long look at her before he gently covered her upper body with the duvet. She shifted slightly and moaned in her sleep. Harry smiled and left her, going to cook breakfast. If he was leaving her, it was the least he could do.

When he came back in with bacon and toast, Ruth was beginning to stir. "Wake up sleepyhead," Harry said calmly as he sat on the bed next to her.

"What time is it?" Ruth moaned.

"Early," Harry said. "Have some bacon." She did, or at least tried to. She was on her second bite when she knew this was a bad idea. "Nope. Can't do it," she said quickly. She raced from the bed to the bathroom and Harry winced when he heard her retching. Guessing that his presence wouldn't be appreciated, instead he made her a cup of tea. When he came back she was looking very pale and wrapped in her dressing gown.

"Baby didn't like the bacon," she said. Harry held out her tea. "Thank you."

"I can stay another day," Harry said. "I don't have to go."

"No, don't be silly," Ruth said. "I know you have to go. Staying another day isn't going to change that. And there's a high chance I'll be sick tomorrow too."

Harry nodded, knowing she had a point. "Come here."

"No, you don't want to kiss me," she said. "I've just thrown up. I'm all gross."

"I don't care," he said. He kissed her anyway and she was smiling by the time he let her go.

"I love you," she said quietly.

"I know," he said. "I love you too. All two of you." Ruth smiled at him.

"Go," she said. "Go, before I start realising I have to live here without you." He nodded and kissed her again.

"I'll call tonight," he said.

"And I'm going back to sleep," Ruth said. "Bye." Harry kissed her again and he left. Ruth stayed perfectly still until she heard the door close. Then she collapsed on the bed, waiting for the engine to start up, which it did and vanish into the distance.

Then and only then did she allow herself to cry, feeling totally alone.

* * *

Harry rang the doorbell and waited for an answer. It only took a few seconds, and he heard a very familiar barking. Harry smiled as Malcolm opened the door and Scarlet started happily yapping at the sight of her owner. "Harry!" Malcolm said eagerly. "Come in. Its good to see you back in London. How's Ruth?"

Harry walked into Malcolm's study and was surprised by the amount of disorganisation he saw. "Ruth's fine," Harry said as he saw both of her cats sitting on the windowsill.

"Mm, now tell me the truth," Malcolm said as they both sat down. "And it might look disorganised, but I know where everything is," he added.

"She's feeling... down," Harry said honestly. "She wants to come home and back to her job."

"Speaking of jobs, how did it go at Thames House?" Malcolm said.

"Oh fine," he said. "I've got an appointment with the shrink in about two hours before I can reclaim my office. I thought I'd see you." Scarlet yapped once more and then jumped on Harry's lap. He smiled at the dog and stroked her behind the ears.

"I've found something," Malcolm said. He handed Harry a thin file which had only four pages in it. Harry opened it and read it quickly.

"Jesus Christ," Harry said. "No wonder they tried to frame us!"

"I know," Malcolm said. "I didn't know what to do with it. This was the real reason I called you back. Although I didn't think it would be a bad idea for you to stake your claim in Thames House but..."

"I need to get back in my office and arrange a meeting with the Home Secretary and the Prime Minister."

"Mm, I thought you might," Malcolm said. "I'll be back on Monday too as my work is done and my holiday has pretty much run out."

"Thank you for all you've done," Harry said sincerely. "I'll take the animals off your hands now."

"Oh." Malcolm said, looking let down.

"Malcolm?"

"I'm rather fond of the black cat," he admitted. "It doesn't matter. They're not mine."

"I'll leave them with you for a while if you like?" Harry suggested. "Until Ruth gets back to London? I'm taking Scarlet though."

"That sounds fair," Malcolm said with his lopsided smile. "Good luck with the PM."

"Yes, I have a feeling I'll need all the luck I can get." Harry sighed and walked Scarlet out. "See you on Monday then. And thank you."

"You're welcome. It'll be good to see Ruth again. Back where she belongs." Harry nodded his thanks and left his oldest friend the file clutched in his hands. He needed to make a few copies of that before he confronted the PM.


	12. Chapter 12

Ruth was curled up in bed, looking at the phone, waiting for Harry to call. She felt lonely, but she knew it would feel good to hear his voice. She lay on the bed for about twenty minutes before it occurred to her that she could ring him. She picked up the phone and then dropped it when it rang at the same moment. "Hello?" she said quickly, once she'd recovered herself.

"Its me," Harry said.

"Its so nice to hear your voice," Ruth said honestly.

"You're old life will be back on Monday."

"What!" Ruth shouted, sitting up quickly. "How? Why? What happened?"

"Malcolm is a genius," Harry said. "I'm planning to hold the Prime Minister to ransom with the information he found."

"God, what was it?" Ruth asked eagerly.

"The PM was aware of everything. It was all done on his orders. He countersigned the documents that allowed terror suspects to be tortured on foreign soil. It was buried deep, but when it seemed that it was all going to come out, he had his people forge documents blaming others. Including you and a couple of others who're in prison without anyone to fight for them."

"What are you going to say to him?" Ruth asked urgently.

"I'm going to record the meeting with him and the Home Secretary and have Malcolm listen in, so I can't be blackmailed. I want you and the other innocent agents released from prison or from the need to hide. Otherwise I'll release it to the press and he'll be forced to resign.

"You're going to blackmail the prime minister?" Ruth asked in disbelief.

"Yep," he said confidently. "And I'm going to enjoy every minute of it. You shouldn't have to live like you have for the past month."

"Six weeks," Ruth said snappishly. "And five days but I'm not counting."

Harry chuckled. Then something occurred to him. "You can't be very far gone then. Pregnancy wise."

"No, I'm not," she said. "But then again, you did sleep with me only six days after we came to the cottage. Apparently you find me irresistible."

"True, but not the point," he said. "I just want you to be careful. Don't over exert yourself."

"I'm not going for any long rambling walks in the countryside in the pouring rain any more," she said. "You don't have to worry."

"I like worrying about you," he said. "I'm just sorry I can't get you back to London this weekend, but I don't think interrupting the PM's Saturdays with his mistress will put me in a good position to start with."

"Who is his mistress?" Ruth asked curiously.

"No one important," Harry said. "I can't even remember her name, but I figure he'll be more… persuadable after a weekend of sex."

"Speaking from experience there?" Ruth teased.

"Well, I seem to be in a fabulous mood whenever I've slept with you," he said. Ruth smiled to herself.

"Are you sure I'll be able to go back?" Ruth asked eagerly.

"Fairly," he said. "But I will call."

"Either way we need to get a doctor to get the cast off of my arm. As Rachel Evans wasn't taken into hospital with a broken arm, it'll be a hard job explaining how I got the cast on my arm in the first place. Through official channels."

"Sure. I'll bribe that doctor into coming and having a look on you on Sunday if you like?" Harry asked. "While away an hour or two of the weekend?"

"That would be brilliant," Ruth said sincerely. "I'll be able to use my arm properly. Yes please!"

"Consider it done," Harry said.

"Thank you," she said fervently. "How are my cats?"

"Malcolm's taken a shine to the black one," Harry said.

"No way on earth that's happened!" Ruth said. "Whiskers hates everyone. Including me."

"Well Malcolm seems to like him. And they seemed to be fairly happy ruling his study."

"They've not destroyed it have they?" Ruth asked warily.

"It looked a bit of a mess, but I don't think it's the cats who are to blame," Harry said honestly. "And Scarlet was pleased to see me too."

"How did the meeting with the in house shrink go?"

"Very well," Harry said. "I think I've persuaded her to take early retirement."

"You're joking," she said blankly.

"Yes I am," he said after a pause. "My office is waiting for me as I left it. And Adam seems glad he's not in charge any more."

"So, things will be back to normal soon?" Ruth asked.

"Almost," Harry said. "Apart from the fact there's three of us."

"Mm, apart from that," Ruth said. "Well, and the fact that we won't be tiptoeing around each other. It seems slightly pointless after the amount of hours we've spent naked in bed together."

"Mm," Harry said, and she knew he was imagining it.

"I love you."

"Love you too," Harry said. "I don't want to hang up."

"Have you reverted to teenage behaviour?" Ruth questioned lightly.

"Hey!" he said gently.

"I'm only teasing," she said. "Goodnight Harry."

"I will see you on Monday," he promised. "Night." Ruth disconnected the phone and that night she slept like a log.


	13. Chapter 13

**Thank you for all the reviews. Its amazing how much I can get written with the month off of work!**

* * *

On Sunday Ruth was surprised by an unannounced visitor. The knock on the door instantly had her on her guard, but looking through the spy hole in the door she was pleased to see Jo.

"What are you doing here?" Ruth asked as she opened the door and gave her a hug.

"Harry said you might need to see a friendly face," Jo said. "And I brought someone to get rid of the cast on your arm." She moved aside and Ruth saw a completely unfamiliar female doctor but she let them both in. Ruth sat down in the kitchen and the doctor immediately looked at her arm in silence. Ruth raised her eyebrows but said nothing.

"Pain?"

"No, its been fine."

"When was it broken?"

"Er… seven weeks ago. Ish."

"I don't work with ish," the doctor said frowning at her.

"Seven weeks ago," Ruth repeated, more confidently this time.

"Well, as I can't go to a hospital, I can't x-ray it to see if its okay. But it should be if its not causing you discomfort."

"Brilliant, can we get the cast off?" Ruth asked.

"Yes." The doctor got what looked like a remote control hand saw out of her bag and Ruth flinched back. "It won't hurt a bit, watch." The doctor switched it on and put it against her own hand. From that point on Ruth allowed the doctor to saw the cast off of her arm and turned to Jo.

"How are you?"

"Fine," she said. "The grids not the same without you."

"I miss it," Ruth said. "Hopefully I'll be back in London next week."

"Really?" Jo asked surprised. "So soon?"

"So Harry says," Ruth replied. "You haven't even called since I've been here."

"I didn't have your new number," Jo said.

"Remind me what you do for a living?" Ruth said sweetly.

"Okay, okay. I didn't think it would be the worst idea in the world if you and Harry had some… alone time. Was I wrong?"

"No," Ruth said. "For a few weeks it was great to be alone with Harry. But recently… I could have done with hearing another friendly voice."

"Well, I'm sorry," Jo said. "Do you want tea?"

"Thanks." Ruth sighed. "So tell me. Who won the betting?" Jo spun around and stared at Ruth in surprise. "I'm not stupid Jo. Although my recent behaviour might argue that point. Anyway, I am aware that Zaf is running some kind of bet about when Harry and I would get our acts together. So who won?"

"You're too intelligent for your own good," Jo said shaking her head. "It depends. Exactly when did…"

"I'm not going to give you the gory details," Ruth said. "But within the first week of being stuck in this poxy cottage."

"Damn it!" Jo shouted loudly. "I had the first day down. That's £300 I've lost out on."

"Three hundred? Are you insane?" Ruth said.

"Probably. Well, the odds shortened once we knew Harry was here with you for the foreseeable future. I put £20 on that time frame before the Cotterdam scandal, and I would have got the lot."

"Stop talking!" Ruth said. "You might start to offend me."

"Sorry." Jo looked faintly embarrassed.

"There we are," the doctor said. Ruth lifted her arm as the cast was removed. It felt so good not to be weighed down by the cast. The doctor examined her arm slowly.

"I'd be careful for the next few weeks, but as long as there's no pain you should be fine."

"Thank you." The doctor saw herself out and Ruth heard a car driving away. Jo put a cup of tea down in front of her and Ruth tried using her right arm. It felt good to be able to use it.

"How are you really?" Jo asked once they were alone.

"Worn down," she said. "I just want to go home. But on the positive side I can use my arm again."

"There's something else," Jo said quietly. "You can tell me."

"You can't tell anyone. Not… not yet," Ruth said. Jo nodded in agreement. "I'm pregnant."

"Oh my God!" Jo's jaw dropped open and Ruth smiled slightly to herself. "But... how?"

"Jo!"

"No, I meant… that's very quick."

"Yes, I know," Ruth said. "It wasn't exactly planned."

"Wow. Congratulations."

"Thanks," Ruth said in a dull voice, less than enthused.

"What's wrong. Aren't you happy?" Jo asked.

"I should be," she said. "So I feel guilty that I'm not. I'm terrified that my life's going to change so drastically. That…" she took a breath and braved to say something that she hadn't even dared tell Harry. "I'm scared that my baby won't like me. That I'll be a terrible mother."

"Oh Ruth, it will be fine. Is Harry pleased?" Ruth was staring at her tea and didn't answer. "It is Harry's?"

"Of course its Harry's!" Ruth yelled. "What is it? Do I have slut printed across my forehead?"

"No! I'm sorry, I was only asking. Forget I said anything."

"Harry asked the same thing," Ruth admitted. "I wanted to kill him and leave his head on a spike." Jo chuckled.

"I'm sure he was just surprised," Jo said calmly.

"I'm scared Jo." Ruth bit her lip hard. "Its never going to be the same again is it?"

"No," Jo agreed. "Is that a bad thing?"

"Maybe not," Ruth agreed. "What's wrong with me? I should be happy."

"I don't know," Jo said with wide eyes which made Ruth laugh.

"How are you?" Ruth asked. "Lets stop talking about me."

"I'm well," Jo said. "Work's been surprisingly quiet. I'm thinking that we've missed something, its never this quiet."

"I'll have a look into it on Tuesday," Ruth agreed happily. "It'd be good to get back into it."

"Mm," Jo said. "Not that I won't be pleased to work with you again, because I absolutely am. But your temporary replacement is really cute."

"Who is it?" Ruth asked eagerly.

"Matthew Caton."

"Tell me more," Ruth said, making the younger woman laugh. They spent the rest of the morning gossiping happily. By the time Jo left Ruth felt very content. More so than she had in a long while.

* * *

Harry left the Home Office, a smile on his face, and a lot of papers in his folder which meant Ruth could resume her life in London. It had been most satisfying seeing the PM's face go pale and practically beg Harry not to release the information. He seemed more than happy with the freedom of the people who hadn't been involved, which made Harry think what he'd requested had been too low. But it didn't matter. Ruth was free. They were free to have a normal life. Or as normal a life as possible while they worked for MI5. He was thrilled.

Harry walked down the street when the Home Secretary shouted to him from a distance. He turned and waited for him to catch up. "What is it Nicholas?"

"How did you find out about the PM's involvement?" Blake asked.

"I don't think that's relevant," Harry said.

"It is."

Harry looked at him. "You knew." It was a statement rather than a question. "You knew those innocent people were being set up and you did nothing."

"I knew but only after the fact," he said. "I got a call from a desperate prime minister when it was all threatening to come out."

"You coward," Harry said bitterly.

"I didn't know what to do," he admitted. "I didn't want the PM forced from office."

"Look Blake, I don't care about your reasoning," Harry said. "I promise you, that if you ever even attempt to frame a member of my team again, you will regret it."

"Understood," he said. "I'm sorry."

"You know I actually believe you might be sorry," Harry said after a moment. "I'll see you for our next crisis." Blake nodded and Harry walked off. When he was in a taxi he called Ruth.

"Pack."

"Harry?"

"Pack, I'm coming around tonight and I'm going to take you back to your home."

"Really?" she asked eagerly. "You mean it?"

"I do," he said. "I want you home, and I want everything back to normal."

"God, I'm so happy!" she said. "I'm going to pack now. No more hiding out and using false names. Oh, I love you."

"Love you too," he said. "I'll drive up tonight when I've put your house back in your name."

"Thank you Harry."

"You're welcome."

"No. I mean, thank you. For everything you've done. Its… more than I could ever have expected from you. So thank you."

"You are very welcome," Harry said. "I'll see you later."

"Good," Ruth said and he knew she was smiling. "Bye."


	14. Chapter 14

**Warning, the middle part of this chapter is M rated. Enjoy!**

* * *

Ruth was waiting by the door, pacing as she waited for Harry. She knew he was coming but it didn't stop how anxious she was to get home. Very soon she heard the engine and she peered out of the window, relieved to recognise Harry's car. By the time he'd parked, Ruth was already outside with two bags on the ground.

"You're keen," he said as he put her bags in the boot.

"I'm going home," she said. "Yes, I am." She sat in the passenger seat and then leaned over to kiss Harry deeply. He responded to her, loving having her initiate this.

"You know, as much as I'm enjoying this, it might have been easier outside the car," Harry said. Ruth frowned. "The gear stick's getting in the way." She laughed.

"Well plenty of time for that when you get me home," Ruth said. She sat back in her seat, leaving her hand on Harry's thigh.

"I think its best for our safety if I'm not distracted by you while driving," Harry said, reluctantly lifting her hand off of him. She smiled to herself and Harry noticed it was a cheeky smile that he never expected to see on Ruth's face. His heart skipped a beat as he drove away. The evening ahead might be very interesting.

* * *

On the way home they stopped to see Malcolm at home, a cat carrier under Ruth's arm as Harry sat in the car.

"Ruth! You look well, come on in."

"Hi Malcolm," she said smiling. "Thank you for everything."

"You're welcome. You've come for your pets?" he asked easily.

"Just one," Ruth said. "Whiskers never liked me or Fidget anyway. Harry said you like him."

"Are you sure you don't mind?" Malcolm asked.

"Are you kidding? I'm so happy that you looked after them while I couldn't. And I'm amazed you took a shine to him."

"Thank you." Malcolm moved aside and Ruth went in to get Fidget and bring him home.

* * *

It was one in the morning and Harry hadn't yet fallen asleep. He was stroking Ruth's hair softly and neither of them was wearing a thing. As soon as she'd unlocked her front door they had hurried up the stairs, clothes being thrown everywhere before they'd collapsed on her bed, and made passionate love three times. Ruth had slipped into sleep almost instantly afterwards, leaving Harry to think.

He'd realised how unhappy and scared she must have been hiding in that cottage. For the first time, when they made love she'd stopped thinking and just enjoyed it. She was freer with her body than before. He could tell it was different for her now that she was safe. He hadn't given it a lot of though, how it must have felt from her point of view. To be hiding, pretending to be dead. Scared that if she was recognised she could be thrown in prison. To him, their time in his little country cottage had been precious. Time they could spend together on a personal level without work getting in the way. A break away from the stresses of the grid where they could sort out their relationship. It had barely entered his head that she was scared.

He knew he'd been foolish, because how could it be that way for her? When she was frightened because of the threats of prison and that she'd never get her old life back. Now those fears were behind them. And she'd really let herself go. He hoped that from now on she'd be happy. That was what he most wanted. He kissed her behind her ear and closed his eyes, his arm round her waist. With her next to him, he slept well.

* * *

Ruth awoke early. Looking at the clock she saw that they had two hours before they had to be in at work. She smiled wickedly to herself and decided to wake him up in a pleasant manner. She moved the duvet away from his body and started to kiss her way down his chest, very slowly. She'd reached his stomach when she knew he was beginning to wake. His hands laced in her hair sleepily as she moved further southwards. She cupped his balls in her hand gently before kissing the tip of his penis. "Ruth?"

"Sh. Just enjoy," she said quietly. She returned to her task and took his rapidly hardening length into her mouth. As her tongue swirled around the tip he groaned, using all of his willpower not to thrust into her mouth. Her tongue brought him close incredibly quickly and he tried to hold back. Which got infinitely harder when she very delicately ran her teeth along his length.

"Christ Ruth…" She swirled her tongue around the head twice more and he came with a groan. She released him and moved up so she could rest her head on his chest. "Good morning," he murmured when words became feasible again.

"Morning," she said.

"Believe me, I'm not complaining, but what did I do to deserve that kind of wake up?"

"Just wanted to," she said. "And you enjoyed it."

"I did," he agreed lazily and she chuckled. "Now your turn."

"No, that's not why I did it," Ruth said as he flipped her over. Harry didn't reply with words, instead he kissed her passionately.

"I love kissing you," she whispered before doing it again.

"So do I," he said. "Every part of you." He caught her nipple between his teeth as if proving his point and she moaned.

"We're never going to make it into work today are we?" she asked, rolling on top of him.

"We can be a little late," he said, his fingers drifting between her legs. "No one will mind." She was too happy to argue.

* * *

Much to her surprise settling in at work happened very easily. Apart from the fact that her desk had moved forty degrees to the right so the occupant couldn't ogle at Harry through the blinds. She fixed that instantly. It was as if she'd never been away. And she loved it. Especially as she could use her contacts to get her first scan ahead of the queue. When she was getting up to speed she could feel eyes on her. Looking up she saw Harry watching her and she smiled at him. He didn't stop watching her even when she returned to work.


	15. Chapter 15

**A long chapter, still M rated! (I blame _3 words 8 letters_ for the inspiration on FB...)**

* * *

Ruth sat in the waiting room, tapping her foot on the floor. Harry was late. He promised he'd be here for her twelve week scan, and she had no reason to doubt it, but he wasn't here.

"Miss Evershed?"

Ruth looked up at the doctor and sighed. He wasn't coming. "Come on Harry," she said to herself as she followed the doctor through to the examination room and sat on the table.

"So, how are you?"

"Fine," Ruth said. "My morning sickness has stopped which makes me very relieved. I feel good."

"Okay," the doctor said making a note on her clip board. "I'm going to take your blood pressure, just to check everything's okay. Are we waiting for the father?"

"He's supposed to be here now," Ruth said tetchily. "Just… lets get started."

"Okay," the doctor said. She took her blood pressure which filled a couple of minutes. She made a note on Ruth's chart (within normal limits) and then turned to the ultrasound machine. Suddenly the door burst open.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Harry said quickly. "I meant to be on time but I got in an accident."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. The cars not," he said. "It doesn't matter. How are you?"

"Just about to check," the doctor said. "Ruth, if you'd like to lie on the table and lift your shirt for me please." She did as the doctor asked and looked at Harry.

"Are you really okay?"

"Yes," he said. "I was trying to get here on time. I didn't forget but I had a call from the Home Secretary and he wouldn't let me go. I broke a few speed limits and crashed the car. It'll be fine."

"You didn't hurt anyone?"

"No, of course not," he said. "Just being an idiot. Lets see how you're doing though. That's more important."

The doctor focused the machine and a regular thumping filled the room. "That's your child's heartbeat."

"It seems very quick," Ruth said. "Is it okay?"

"Absolutely fine," the doctor said, smiling at them. "Okay, the amniotic sac looks good, and your baby looks healthy." She paused for a moment.

"What is it?" Harry asked concerned.

"Nothing's wrong. But I wonder if you want to know the sex of the baby?"

"You can tell that at twelve weeks?" Ruth asked surprised.

"Not usually," she agreed. "And I don't usually volunteer my opinion at this stage either. But your baby is doing the splits, and its rather obvious."

"Let us see," Harry said quietly and Ruth nodded. The doctor turned the screen around so they could see and sure enough she was right. It was obvious.

"We're having a boy aren't we?" Ruth said smiling.

The doctor nodded. "There's a chance I'm wrong at this early stage, but in my professional opinion I doubt it in your case.

Harry kissed Ruth passionately and lovingly. "We're having a son."

"I'm going to be outnumbered by men," Ruth said but her eyes were sparkling at him. "Are you sure he's healthy?"

"Yes," the doctor said, printing off a picture of their baby. "I can do some blood work if you want extra reassurance?"

"Please," Ruth said. "I worry."

"Incessantly," Harry added.

"Okay," the doctor said. She took some of Ruth's blood as Harry stared at their son.

"I can't believe it," he said. "Our boy." He kissed her again.

* * *

That night Ruth saw Harry's car outside her house. It wasn't as bad as she'd feared. He still shouldn't have been speeding, but Ruth hadn't thought that she'd have to say "get to the hospital without crashing the car." She thought it had been a given. She wondered why he was here at her house but she didn't give it too much thought. Neither did she worry that he'd actually broken into her house.  
Going through to the kitchen she smiled. Harry had a candlelit meal for two well on the way and she felt warmth spread through her. "Who told you you could break into my house?"

"No one. I wanted to surprise you," he said with a smile. "You need the security upped if I can break in. It only took me five minutes."

"You're not the typical burglar though are you," Ruth said picking up a wine glass. "Not all burglars have your years of experience and training." She smirked at him and took a sip of wine. She swallowed before she remembered that she was pregnant. "Oh my God, I shouldn't have done that," she said in horror, putting the glass back. "I forgot. For a minute there I… actually forgot." Harry passed her a fresh glass with her non alcoholic wine and smiled.

"A sip isn't going to hurt you," he said. "Don't worry. And I'm going to have Malcolm look at your security."

"That's probably a good idea," she admitted, sitting down. "What've I done to deserve this?"

"I wanted to treat you. And it's a Friday so we have the weekend off, and we're celebrating that we're having a baby boy."

"Good reasons I guess," Ruth said. "I actually saw something on the way home. I stopped to buy it." She pulled something out of her handbag and gave it to Harry. It was a pale blue newborn baby grow. On the front it said "Daddy's little star." It had almost made Ruth melt when she'd seen it in the shop. She'd simply had to have it.

"That's gorgeous," Harry said softly. "Perfect." She smiled and stowed it away again as Harry started plating up their meals.

"What are we having?"

"Rice and curry," he said. "Your recent hankering for spicy food. Its quite… hot."

"Good," she said. "Thank you." They carried on eating their meal, and Ruth felt truly happy.

* * *

Ruth put her spoon down. Dessert had been strawberries and cream, and it had been delicious. "Harry, that was wonderful."

"Good," he said. "I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm only sorry I can't treat you to a very expensive bottle of champagne. In the circumstances."

"Yes, well… in a few months time I'll take you up on that." Harry smiled at her.

"Ruth, I love you so much," he said, his eyes fixed on hers.

"Harry…" she warned, knowing in that instant what he was going to do.

He reached into his jacket pocket and knelt on one knee as Ruth felt her heart stop.

"Ruth will you marry me?"

Her voice was lost for a moment in shock. Then she managed to say what she knew she had to. "No." Harry looked so crestfallen that she felt terrible, but she knew it was the right answer. "Please, let me explain," she added, not wanting to lose him. "Get up and please let me talk."

"I'm listening," he said, sitting back, the disappointment etched in his face.

"I can't," she said sadly. She reached for his hand and held it tightly. "Not now. Harry, I love you. But I am not ready to get married. We've only been together twelve weeks. That's all."

"Why does that matter?" he asked simply. "Time doesn't mean anything."

"Harry, so much in my life is changing right now. And while its thrilling and exciting, it also scares me from time to time. Don't think that I don't love you, because I do. So much."

"Ruth, I love you more than I've ever loved anyone in my life. I think the amount of time we've known each other counts for something."

"It does," she agreed. "Which is why I thought we could move in together. I'm not ready for marriage yet. I'm sorry."

"Do you mean it?" Harry asked, the disappointment fading from his face slightly. "Living together?"

"Yes I do mean it," she said. "I'd been thinking about it. When the baby's born I don't want either of us to miss anything. I want us all together under one roof. So I have been thinking about it. Plus I rather enjoy having you around." He smiled at her wanly. "I'd like to marry you. One day. I'm just sorry its not now."

"No. Its fine," he said even though it wasn't. He squeezed her hand, and whatever happened, he was happy that she wanted them to be together on a more permanent basis. Even if it wasn't marriage.

"Keep the ring," she said quietly. "Because one day I'll say yes." He reached for her and stroked her face gently. She moved across the gap between them and kissed him slowly and deliciously. He was upset that she hadn't said yes but he wasn't a complete idiot, and he knew that living together was a big step for her. After a few seconds he really enjoyed the kiss and allowed himself to get lost in it. She tasted so sweet, of strawberry's and so uniquely Ruth.

"Harry, I love you," she breathed.

"I know," he said. He pushed his fingers under her blouse insistently and she unbuttoned it for him. Her old clothes were becoming uncomfortably tight because of her bump and she was more than willing to loosen the buttons. He stroked her stomach for a moment before pulling her to her feet so he could hold her more easily. He ran his hands over her body, pushing her blouse to the floor. She wrapped her arms around him as the kiss got deeper and she moaned into his mouth. She needed him to touch her… _everywhere_. He released her lips and kissed her neck, his tongue flicking against her thundering pulse as she sighed. Still with his mouth on her neck he reached for her breast, pushing her bra down and rubbing his thumb across her nipple which hardened instantly. He bowed his head lower and bit her breast gently, making her pull his head closer to her body.

"Harry I need you," she moaned.

"Bedroom?"

"No," she breathed. "I need you _now_." He chuckled and lifted up her skirt and stroked her thigh, higher and higher. "You're being slow on purpose!" she complained.

"I know," he agreed. "I'm trying to wind you up."

"Well it's working," she said, her blue eyes wide and urgent at him. "Oh!" He pressed his palm between her legs, feeling her knickers already wet. He pulled her lace knickers aside and pushed two fingers inside her, his thumb brushing her clitoris. She clutched his shoulders so she'd stay standing. He stroked her to climax very skilfully and quickly. "God Harry!" she cried as she came powerfully. Her breathing slowed as she came back to life and she opened her eyes, a lazy satisfied smile on her face. Harry on the other hand was harder than he could remember being in years. Ruth noticed. She undid his trousers, and pulled his boxers down so she could squeeze him, her eyes locked on his.

"Oh Ruth," he groaned, kissing her again as she kept her grip on him. He brushed the crockery off the table, ignoring the fact that it all went all over the floor. He needed a flat surface and quickly. He laid Ruth on it and kissed her passionately as her legs wrapped around him, her skirt hitched around her waist. As he kissed her he began thrusting against her upper thigh, without even realising it. Ruth's fingernails accidentally scratched him as she pulled his trousers and boxers down.

"Do you trust me?" Harry whispered urgently.

"What?" she asked confused. "Of course I do."

"Then turn over." She did what he asked quickly and then moaned when she felt him touch her clitoris again. "Arch your back." She did and then with no warning he thrust into her hard and she cried out. "Are you alright?"

"Don't... stop," she moaned. He grinned and pulled out of her until he was teasing her with just the tip of his penis and she was whimpering for more. He teased her for a moment longer before pushing back into her, making her cry out again. He thrust into her over and over again, picking up speed gradually and she started begging for more. "Please Harry…"

He let one of his hands massage her clitoris and she bucked underneath him. He pushed inside her twice more before they both came together with cries of ecstasy. They stilled and after a minute Harry pulled out of her, making her sigh. He moved around the table and stroked her hair. "Come on, lets go upstairs."

"If you expect my legs to work after that you're delusional," she said, her eyes still closed and they both laughed. He kissed the back of her neck and helped her to her feet, helping her up the stairs and they fell into a happy sleep.


	16. Chapter 16

**I had genuinely intended to make Ruth miserable through this pregnancy. But it seems I just couldn't do it!**

* * *

Ruth woke first the next morning, her body aching deliciously. Never again would she look at her kitchen table in the same way. She looked at Harry and smiled, somewhat sadly. She felt guilty that she couldn't give him what he wanted and say yes to his proposal but she knew in her heart it was too soon. She wanted to marry him, one day. She sighed and got up, throwing her dressing gown on, going downstairs. When she got to the kitchen she smiled at the mess, a reminder of last night. Their clothes were flung everywhere, wine glasses were shattered on the floor and the tablecloth was stained beyond repair. She started to clean up. It was only when she picked up the last of their clothes that she found the engagement ring box under the table.

She sighed as she picked it up. She shouldn't open it, she knew that. But the temptation was almost overwhelming. Instead of looking at the ring, she put the box on the table and started to make some breakfast. She was starving.

* * *

After the weekend Harry's car was fixed and he drove them to work. "We need to tell everyone," Ruth said. "About the baby."

"I knew what you meant," Harry said. "Are you sure?"

"Jo already knows," Ruth said. Harry looked at her in surprise. "I needed to talk to someone. It was when I was getting the cast off of my arm."

"That was weeks ago!"

"And she kept her word and didn't say anything," Ruth said simply. "But we've passed three months now, so its safe to tell people. And I'm showing, and I'd rather people thought I was pregnant then think I'm getting fat."

"You're not fat," Harry said instantly. "Although trying to squeeze into your old clothes when you're growing another person is probably a bad idea."

"Squeeze into them?" Ruth questioned, her voice like ice.

"I didn't mean that," Harry said trying to backtrack. "I meant…"

"You think I'm fat!" Ruth said loudly as her eyes started watering. Harry sighed and parked the car on the side of the road, thinking that illegally parking was the safest in the current situation.

"No." He held her gently. "You are not fat, you are beautiful. You are going to get bigger because you are growing our son. You just need some bigger clothes. That's all." He made sure to keep his voice light as he ran his hands over her back. "Stop crying."

"I'm just being silly," she said. "I know that." She pulled back and he wiped her tears gently away. "Come on lets go. Work won't wait." He kissed her briefly and she smiled as he drove off.

* * *

"Have you seen what Zaf's doing?" Harry grumbled a week later as Ruth came into his office.

"Yes."

"Do you want me to stop him?"

"Don't you dare!" she said quickly. "He's doing all the work for us!" Harry frowned. Over the past few days Zaf had changed his betting from when they'd get together to everything baby related. Weight, gender and most importantly baby names. Zaf had compiled a huge comprehensive list and Ruth was more than happy to let him do it. She'd read some of the suggestions and the odds next to the names and was very impressed. Not nearly as impressed as she was by the amount of people already placing bets, from every section of MI5. But (to her at least) this was less offensive than betting when she and Harry would finally have sex. And it made it unnecessary for her to buy and baby name books. Instead she kept looking at the book when no one was watching.

"Its in bad taste to bet what we're going to name our son."

"Sh!" Ruth said urgently. "They don't know it's a boy. About seventy percent of wagers have it as a girl so far. Except for Jo, which is odd because I haven't told her."

"Maybe she's intuitive," Harry said. "I thought you'd mind. People taking such an interest in our private life."

"I thought I would too," she agreed, wrapping her arms around him. "But everyone's congratulated me. And this betting… its all good natured. You know that."

"I do," he said. He kissed her slowly and longingly. "I love you."

"Love you too," she said. "Now let me get back to work. And try and avoid heavy hints from Jo that I have to work on having a boy that weighs six pounds nine ounces with hair and name him Arthur."

"That's what she's going for?" Harry asked, holding in his laugh with difficulty.

"Yes," Ruth said. "She's abstaining from picking a middle name though." Harry laughed and kissed her again.

"Its good to see you so happy," Harry said. She smiled once more before leaving his office.


	17. Chapter 17

It was late in the evening and Harry was finishing up in the office when Ruth appeared in the door frame, smiling at him. "Nearly done?" she asked.

"Yes," he said. "You didn't have to wait for me."

"I was flicking through Zaf's book," Ruth said. "Someone's put fifty quid on us naming our daughter Aphrodite." Harry snorted with amusement as Ruth smiled. She perched on the edge of Harry's desk and he looked at her curiously.

"You want something," he stated. She pouted prettily at him. "I'm intelligent Ruth, but I'm not a mind reader."

"I wondered… if we might… have a kitchen table repeat?" She wasn't even blushing and this surprised Harry. Clearly her pregnancy hormones were having an effect on her.

"Okay, lets go home," he said, putting his jacket on.

"No. I meant… here," she said. Without adding another word she began to unbutton her blouse. Harry's eyes were drawn to the swell of her breasts. God, they were getting bigger. She'd bought some maternity clothes the week before and she was wearing a new bra. Black and purple lace, he saw as she loosened the fabric. Her bump was becoming quite noticeable now, but she seemed comfortable.

"Harry, give me your hand," she said quickly.

"Ruth, I think this is a bad idea…"

"No, just do it," she said urgently. She grabbed his hand and put it on her bump. He looked at her face eagerly.

"Is he…?"

"There," Ruth interrupted as a muffled thump hit Harry's hand. It wasn't really a kick, but their baby was moving. Harry smiled at her and when their child stopped, he kissed her.

"That's amazing," he said, kissing her again.

"Mm. So… where were we?"

"The things I do for you," he said, nuzzling into her neck. "Let me cut the CCTV." Ruth smiled and waited for him to cut the feed. God she loved him.

* * *

"Harry?"

"No." He said, without even opening his eyes. It was two in the morning and they were lying in bed together. He knew what she wanted, and while he loved her deeply, he didn't know if he'd be able to go again "I've made love to you three times today. I haven't got it in me."

"Now that I don't believe," she said. Her hand drifted across his chest but he stopped her progress by grabbing her fingers.

"I can't," he said. "You could do anything you like to me and you're… not going to get me to rise to the occasion for a fourth time."

A moment of silence. "Can I test that theory?" Harry laughed in spite of himself. He rolled on top of her and kissed her.

"I'll give you a hand," he said. "But that's all."

"That'd be a good compromise I guess," she said. "But I didn't think that you wouldn't want to have sex with me after only four months. Do I bore you so soon?"

"Nice try," he said.

"Worth a shot," she said grumpily. He laughed and kissed her again.

"I find you devastatingly sexy and beautiful and gorgeous," he said, punctuating every word by kissing her neck. "I, however am an old man. I can't have sex again."

"You're not old," Ruth said. Harry smiled and squeezed her breast gently as his other hand drifted between her legs and started to stroke her. She sighed with contentment as her eyes closed. He sucked her nipple as he brought her to climax incredibly quickly. Harry collapsed next to her as her breathing remained heavy.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"I love you," he said. "I'd love you a little bit more if I could sleep. Please?"

"Night Harry." They both slept with smiles on their faces.

* * *

Ruth was in Harry's office handing over some reports when Harry burst out "Jesus!"

"What?" Ruth asked in surprise. Harry was usually so contained and in control in work. Which hid how loving he was in private.

"They're going to make me a knight," Harry said. "I'm going to be a sir. What are they thinking?" Ruth took the letter from Harry and read it. Sure enough he was telling the truth.

"Wow," Ruth said as she put it back. "I can't believe you're going to be knighted. You're going to the palace then."

"I've met the Queen before," Harry said. "Half a dozen times or so."

"What's she like?" Ruth asked curiously. They may work for Queen and country but she had never been in a position to meet the monarch.

"Charming, but used to getting her own way," Harry said. "She doesn't take no very well either."

"What did you tell her no to?" Ruth asked.

"She wanted a flotilla on the Thames for her Golden jubilee," Harry said. "Hundreds of boats. Of course the security is a nightmare and I said no."

"You told the Queen she couldn't have what she wanted?" Ruth asked, her estimation of him rising.

"Well, we made an agreement that she could have it for her Diamond jubilee when I just might be out of office so it won't be my problem."

"I'm not sure that's how it should work," Ruth said with a smile. She leant over the desk and grabbed his tie. "You know I've never slept with a knight of the realm before."

"I'm not a knight yet," he said, rather enjoying her looming this close to him. And enjoying the fact that she didn't care that it was the middle of the working day and the blinds were open. She kissed him passionately and then there was a knock on the door. She didn't move, even when the door opened, and Harry loved this change of attitude.

"Sorry… Harry I need you," Adam said from the doorway.

"Sadly, so do I," Ruth said, hopping off the desk and passing Adam in the doorway, who was smirking at them both.

"Couldn't it wait Adam?" Harry asked, irritated.

"Not really," he said. "I didn't mean to interrupt your… tryst."

"Stop talking about Ruth," Harry said. "What did you want?" Adam launched into an explanation but Harry was only half listening at best. His mind was still on Ruth.


	18. Names

Ruth lay in bed, curled up and waiting for Harry to get home. Over the past few weeks he'd been slowly moving into her house. It had been slow because they both worked full time but they'd nearly finished. With the result that Harry had put his house on the market. It had initially made Ruth nervous because what if it all went wrong between them? But she'd got over it, and realised that Harry wasn't going anywhere. She knew that, but it took time to get used to it. She'd been alone for much of her adult life. Harry was at the estate agents, finalising things on his house. Late, because of work and she surprised herself by how much she missed him. She sighed and got up, knowing sleep would be elusive as long as Harry wasn't here.

The spare room was going to be the baby's room. Ruth hadn't looked at it for a couple of weeks, and she knew that she needed to plan. Where the cot would go, what colour to paint the walls, things like that. She opened the door and gasped. It was already finished and she hadn't lifted a finger. The walls were a pale blue bordered by ABC wallpaper. The cot they'd bought last week was assembled and two blue blankets were already there, waiting for their new arrival. The changing table was on the other side of the room too, baby supplies already starting to mount up, and a wooden rocking chair in the corner, where she could rock the baby on sleepless nights.

There were several teddies around the room, a mobile hanging over the cot and a baby monitor. A chest of drawers was by the wall and she opened them. Baby clothes were already folded up neatly inside them. Lots of clothes, more than she could have imagined. She opened up the next drawer and found tiny jackets, socks and shoes all lined up next to each other. She felt her heart melt at the thought Harry had put into this. Ruth gasped as the baby gave her a hard kick under her ribs.

"It was meant to be a surprise," Harry said from the door. "Are you okay?" he asked as he realised she was bent over her bump in discomfort.

"Yeah," she said breathlessly. "He's kicking really hard." Harry hurried over and he put his hand on her bump.

"Wow," he said. "That is hard." They stayed silent as the baby stopped moving. "Has he ever kicked that hard before?"

"No," Ruth said. "That's the biggest yet." Harry smiled at her. "You didn't have to do this," she added. "When did you have the time?"

"Not all of my meetings with the Home Secretary actually existed," he admitted. "I've been coming back here to fix the room up."

"This is possibly one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me," she said. "Thank you." She kissed him passionately and he wrapped his arms around her tightly.

"I guess all we have to do now is pick a name," Harry said. "As much as some of Zaf's suggestions have merit, I think we should decide."

"Mm," Ruth said, sitting in the rocking chair and picking up a blanket, running it through her fingers. "We're never going to agree."

"That's a defeatist attitude," Harry said. "Nicholas?"

"No," Ruth said firmly. "I'm not having a son who shares the name of the Home Secretary."

"Oh, gone off that name now," Harry said. "I hadn't thought of that."

Ruth chuckled. "Joshua."

"No," Harry said. "William."

"No. Anthony?"

"No. Matthew."

"No. Alex?"

"That's not bad," Harry said after a moment of silence. "Alexander Pearce. I like that actually."

"Oh."

"Oh what?" Harry asked confused. It was her suggestion after all.

"His last name. You said Pearce."

"Why wouldn't it be Pearce?" Harry asked.

"I thought… I'd just assumed it would be Evershed."

"Really?" Harry asked. "Why?"

"I just did," she said. "We're not married, our relationship is relatively new, we've only just started living together… I thought he'd be Evershed."

"Ruth, I'm not going to leave you," he said.

"I know," she said. "But things might happen and we might separate. I'm just being realistic. And if that happens, I thought…"

"If in the unlikely event that happens," he said slowly, "I am not going to abandon our son. Like it or not, you're stuck with me."

Ruth smiled at him. "I love you."

"I want to give our son my last name," Harry stated. "Is that going to be a problem?"

She paused for a moment. "No. Of course not."

"Did you not think I'd want to?" Harry asked in surprise.

"I assumed… just forget it," Ruth said. "It would be wonderful for him to have your name."

"Don't say that if you don't mean it," Harry said.

"I mean it," she said. "It feels… right."

"Good." He kissed her again. "So Alexander?"

"Alex," she agreed. "Yeah," she said. "That sounds good."


	19. Chapter 19

Ruth was due to start her maternity leave next week, but at the moment she was tying up all the loose ends in her files and reports. It had taken her all week, but she was nearly at the end now. Harry was at a JIC meeting and would be ages. She'd probably go to sleep before he got home, a prospect which didn't fill her with joy. Ruth frowned as she felt a pain in her stomach. She gasped and waited, but it passed relatively quickly.

"Are you okay?" Jo asked as she passed by her desk.

"Yeah," she said. "Just felt a bit strange there for a moment. I'm fine."

"Your due date's isn't that far away," Jo said, perching on the edge of Ruth's desk. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes," Ruth said. "I am not going into labour, I am fine."

"Just checking," Jo said with a smile. "We don't want you to give birth here after all."

"My due date's on the thirteenth," Ruth said. "Which while being unlucky, is when I plan to have him."

"Him?" Jo said instantly. "It's a boy?"

"I shouldn't have said that," Ruth said. "But yes. It is."

"If you'd excuse me… I have to find Zaf and make a rather large bet."

"Go," Ruth said with a smile. Jo smiled back and went off to find her purse. Ruth rested her hand on her stomach and waited for another sign. After five full minutes nothing had happened at all, she didn't even feel the baby turn over. So she got back to work.

* * *

At five she switched off her computer and saw everyone else milling around, chatting about their weekend plans. The day had been really slow and no one seemed in a rush to get home. However, Ruth was beginning to think she needed to get to hospital. She was in labour, she now knew that. Her contractions were becoming more painful and closer together, now every ten minutes or so.

"Jo?"

"Ruth? God, you don't look so good."

"Can you get me to hospital?" Ruth asked, biting her lip again as she felt another contraction.

"Are you in labour?" Jo asked.

"Yep," she said. "And I think I was when you asked earlier."

"That was six hours ago!"

"Can we forget the time, and just get me to hospital?" Ruth said. "I planned to have him next week, not now."

"Well, you can't plan everything Ruth," she said. "I'm going to take you down and get a taxi. With rush hour traffic an ambulance will take twice as long."

"Fine," she said. "Just get me out of here." Jo smiled at her and helped her to a hospital.

* * *

Ruth checked in to the hospital and was relieved to be in a hospital bed, with doctors who knew what they were doing because she didn't have a clue. "Jo, have you called Harry?" she asked breathlessly.

"Er… no?" Jo said, suddenly feeling incredibly stupid.

"What!"

"Sorry, I forgot. I wanted to get you here. I'll go and call him."

"Quickly!"

"Right." Jo left the room and hurriedly got her phone. She called Harry on both his mobile, and the emergency number she had in her phone. Neither got any results. She sighed and kept ringing through. She was just about to go and tell Ruth he wasn't answering, and that she was going to head to the JIC meeting when he answered.

"Jo, if this is not important I'm going to kill you!" Harry hissed. "I've had to excuse myself from the most important intelligence officers and politicians in the country because you won't stop calling! And I can't even switch my phone off because the emergency number automatically turns it on!"

"Ruth's in labour," Jo said, three words she knew would get Harry to drop whatever he was doing.

"What?! For how long?"

"I think more than six hours," Jo admitted.

"WHAT!"

"Don't shout at me, she didn't tell anyone until work was finished for the day," Jo said. "She thinks she's been in labour since about eleven this morning."

"God forbid she takes her health seriously," Harry cursed. "What's she been doing for the last six hours then?"

"Working," Jo said blankly.

"Stupid woman. I'm on my way. St Thomas's right?"

"Yes," Jo said. "She'll be pleased to hear it."

"Go and support her, I don't want to be on her own. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Good," Jo said. "Hurry." He didn't even hear her because he'd already gone. Jo went back into the room.

"Where is he?" Ruth breathed.

"Harry's on his way," Jo said, sitting next to her and holding her hand.

"You're sure?"

"Yes," Jo said. "Just concentrate on the baby."

"Can I push yet?" Ruth asked the doctor desperately.

"No," she said unhelpfully. Suddenly the door opened and an unfamiliar doctor came in.

"Hi Ruth, I'm Doctor Wallis, I'm here to check on your condition."

"Why does she need another doctor?" Jo asked, sensing something was wrong.

"Just for a second opinion," she replied.

"Why? What's wrong?" Ruth breathed through the pain.

"Did you do an ultrasound?" Doctor Wallis asked the other doctor who nodded. "Show me." She did and Jo watched with concern. Ruth couldn't follow their conversation, she was in too much pain. "Yes, and there on the upper right."

"Would either of you tell us what's going on!" Jo shouted.

"Ruth, we're going to have to take you into surgery to have an emergency C section right now."

"Oh no. I'm having a natural birth and I am not going anywhere until Harry gets here," Ruth said firmly.

"You have major signs of placenta accreta," the doctor continued. "Your placenta has abnormally attached to the uterine wall, which means if you give birth naturally, you will have a serious haemorrhage. Then we'll have to bring you into surgery anyway, to stop the bleeding. There's a chance it can be fatal. It's safer this way Ruth."

"No, this can't be happening," Ruth said. "Is he going to be okay?"

"Your baby will be fine," the doctor said. "Honestly, the danger is more to you than the baby. We have to take you. Now."

"But Harry…"

"I will tell Harry, don't worry," Jo said, more concerned about her friend. "Is Ruth going to be okay?"

"Surgeries always carry a certain degree of risk," the doctor said. "But right now we have no option. We have to take you in."

"Tell Harry," Ruth repeated desperately. Jo agreed she would as the doctors quickly wheeled Ruth's hospital bed away. Jo felt her heart in her mouth at the fact she'd have to be the one to tell Harry that Ruth had gone into emergency surgery. Jo wondered if Harry would let the bearer of bad news survive unscathed.

* * *

**I have done some medical research, but I've also taken a couple of liberties, so I hope no one minds. Please leave a review if you have a minute. :-)**


	20. Chapter 20

It only took twenty minutes for Harry to show up, looking wild eyed and terrified as he saw Jo in the waiting room. "Jo, where is she? I told you to stay with her!"

"Harry, you need to stay calm."

"Why would I need to stay calm? What's calm got to do with it? Oh God is she all right? And the baby? What's happened?"

"Ruth's having an emergency C section," Jo said calmly.

"No she didn't want one," Harry said slowly. "She wanted the baby naturally."

"She wasn't given the choice," Jo said. "She's in _emergency_ surgery."

"Oh God." Harry felt his legs go from under him and he fell in a chair. Jo sat next to him, not knowing what to say. "Tell me exactly what the doctor told you," Harry said. "Don't leave anything out."

Jo was thankful that she'd had the foresight to copy into her phone everything the doctors had said in case she forgot anything. She repeated it and Harry sunk low in the chair as he took it all in. "Oh God," he said in a tiny broken voice. "I can't lose her, I just can't."

"She is going to be fine," Jo said. "The doctor told me to wait here and she'd come and get me with any news." She paused for a minute. "I can go, or I can stay Harry. Whatever you want."

"Go, its fine," he said. "I'll um… call when I know more," he said. "She's going to be fine isn't she?"

"Yeah," Jo said with a confidence she didn't feel. "Course she is. Call if you need anything."

"Thanks Jo." She left without a word, knowing that Harry needed to be alone. On the other hand, Harry felt like falling apart.

* * *

An hour passed. Then two. Every minute felt like torture. Harry was beginning to feel like the longer this went the less chance there was of them both pulling through this. He was still thinking this when a surgeon approached him. "Mr Pearce?"

"Yes, how is she?"

"Your partner is still on the operating table," the surgeon said. "We're closing her up right now. Your son is perfectly healthy."

"He's okay?"

"Seven pounds exactly and he hasn't stopped crying since he was born," the doctor said with a smile. "Very healthy lungs."

"Is Ruth going to be okay?"

"The worst is behind her. It's a relatively simple process, closing her up. She should be just fine."

"Good. Can I see my son?"

"Follow me." Harry did, walking through the labyrinth of the hospital corridors until they reached the newborn unit. There were maybe a dozen babies in their plastic cots, all of which were quiet, except for one at the back that was wailing at the top of his lungs.

"That one's yours," the doctor said, indicating the screaming one. Harry looked at the medical nonsense on the front of the cot._ Baby boy, 549126, 6th March 2007 7:38 pm by C section. Mother R. Evershed._ Harry looked at his watch and saw that his son was already thirty two minutes old. He'd missed half an hour of his sons life.

"Can I pick him up?" Harry asked.

"Please do, it might make him stop crying." Harry nervously picked up his newborn son, holding him so carefully as the most important thing in his life. He supported the baby's dark hair covered head and rocked him, willing him to stop crying. After a minute, he did. "Hi little man," he cooed. "That's quieter isn't it?" Harry stroked his soft hair and smiled.

"I have to get back to Ruth's surgery, I'll let you know when she's in recovery."

"Thank you," Harry said, only with eyes for his son. Soon he was left alone, holding his baby. "You are beautiful," he told his baby whose eyes hadn't yet opened. "Your mum can't wait to meet you. She'll be with you soon, I promise." The baby opened his mouth and Harry could hear him breathing softly as he slept. He was gorgeous.

* * *

Ruth was drifting awake, feeling groggy, distant and in a little bit of pain. She flicked open her eyes, letting the room come into focus. Her hand drifted over her stomach and she realised she was no longer pregnant. Worried, her eyes scanned the room, and then she saw Harry. He was asleep, and he had a baby in his arms. Their baby. Ruth smiled, a truly happy smile and she gave Harry a light prod, waking him up.

"Mm…?"

"Harry." He turned and saw her.

"You're awake," he said pleased. "Oh I'm so glad."

"You have something important in your arms," Ruth said. Harry looked down at their sleeping son.

"You have to meet him," Harry said, passing him over carefully. Ruth beamed as she held her son for the first time.

"He is gorgeous," Ruth said.

"Yes, he is," Harry agreed. "I'm so relieved to see you awake."

"I wasn't going to miss this," Ruth said quietly. "I could look at him forever."

"I have a bone to pick with you," Harry said. "When you think you're in labour, you go to a hospital!"

"Don't shout, you'll wake him," Ruth said. "I know. And I just thought it was a false alarm. Sorry."

"Your health is too important to take lightly," Harry said firmly.

"All right, I get the picture," Ruth said, rolling her eyes. "Is he okay? Health wise?"

"Perfect," Harry said. "All the newborn checks were fine. I wasn't sure if it was still Alex."

"Yeah, I think it is," Ruth said looking at her child's face. "I can't believe how much I love him and I haven't even seen his eyes open."

"Neither have I," Harry said. "I'm hoping they're a beautiful blue like yours."

"Newborns have blue eyes anyway. Harry you'll love him whatever he looks like," Ruth said quietly.

"Of course I will," Harry said. "I do. Come here." Harry kissed her slowly and then Alex started whimpering in Ruth's arms.

"Hi little man," Ruth said. "No don't cry," she whispered. "Come on." He opened his eyes and Harry felt his breath catch. Wide blue eyes looked at him. Alex seemed distracted for a moment but then started to cry.

"He might be hungry," Harry suggested.

"Am I okay to feed him?" Ruth asked over the noise of a crying baby. "I mean, any drugs in my system, or anything like that."

"You're fine," he said. "I asked when you were brought up here." Ruth smiled at his thoughtfulness and loosened her hospital gown. Sure enough Alex latched on and fed hungrily.

"I'm glad he knows what he's doing because I haven't got any idea," Ruth said, making Harry laugh. He watched in awed silence as she fed their child. When Alex had finished, she covered herself back up and gave the baby to Harry. "I think I might sleep. I feel exhausted."

"I'll put him back in the newborn unit," Harry said. "I might be a while, admiring him."

"Okay," she said with a smile. "Night." Harry left the room with the precious bundle in his arms and Ruth smiled watching him leave. When he'd gone she rang the call button and a nurse appeared quickly.

"Are you all right?" the nurse asked.

"Who can I talk to about my surgery?" Ruth asked.

"Just a minute, I'll get the lead surgeon." Ruth nodded her thanks and waited. It didn't take long and an unfamiliar woman came in.

"You have questions?"

"Yes, what happened in there?" Ruth asked. "Did everything go okay?"

"Your son is very healthy," the doctor said.

"I've seen him," Ruth said. "He's perfect. I wondered if their were any complications."

"Complications?"

"Yes. Could I have another child for example. Will this condition flare up again?"

"Right," the doctor said in a low tone which made Ruth fear the worst. "Well…"

"Just tell me," Ruth said, her heart sinking.

"No. You can't have another child. I'm sorry. In these situations our priority is the existing baby, not the ones that might come in the future. There was severe bleeding in your fallopian tubes, as well as your uterus. You won't be able to have any more children. I'm so sorry."

Ruth sighed and felt tears welling in her eyes. "Is there any chance?"

"No," she said.

Ruth sighed. "You didn't tell Harry did you?"

"We couldn't," she said. "He's not your husband. We can't share any medical information with him."

"Good, I'm glad you didn't tell him," Ruth said, wiping her tears away. "I don't want him to know."

"I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news," the doctor said. "You should get some rest."

"Thank you." Ruth waited until she was alone and then she curled on her side and cried herself to sleep.


	21. Chapter 21

**I've decided this will be the last chapter. I hadn't planned it that way, but the end of this chapter seems like a good place to end it.**

* * *

The next morning when Harry got to the hospital he almost had a panic attack. Alex wasn't in his cot. He asked the on duty nurse who told him the mother was feeding him, which made Harry's heart start beating again. He went to Ruth's hospital room, camera in hand and found her cradling Alex, a soft smile on her face. Motherhood seemed to suit her. He opened the door and went in as she turned her radiance towards him. "Hi."

"You look beautiful," he said, kissing her hair. "Jo sends her best."

"I hope you didn't kill her when she told you I was in surgery."

"No I didn't," he said. "I wanted to, but I didn't."

Ruth smiled. "Do you want your daddy?" Ruth handed him over and Harry cooed over the newborn as Ruth relaxed and closed her eyes.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Yes," she said. "Just tired." She looked at Harry again, debating whether to tell him or not. She decided that she should. It was only fair. "Harry?"

"Yeah?" He looked up from their bundle of joy and smiled at her.

"I need to tell you something," she said heavily.

"Oh God, what is it?"

"He'll be it," Ruth said. "I can't have another child Harry."

"What are you talking about?"

"There were complications in the surgery," Ruth said. She tried to control herself and not cry. "Too much damage to my uterus. And fallopian tubes. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry," Harry said. "Why wasn't I told?"

"They can't give you my medical information," Harry said. "They could tell you about Alex, because he's yours."

"Are you upset?" Harry asked. "Of course you are, sorry. Do… did you want another baby?"

"Not particularly," Ruth said. "But when someone tells you you can't have something, you instantly want it." Harry smiled sadly and indulgently at her.

"I'm so sorry," he said. "Is there any hope?"

"No," she replied. "No chance. But I'm glad we have our Alex."

"I can't even imagine what you're thinking," Harry said.

"Sad and happy all at the same time. And weepy. I keep seeming to cry."

"That's normal anyway," Harry said. "New mothers often feel like that."

"Harry, give me the camera." He smiled and did as she asked. Ruth took a few dozen pictures of Harry with their newborn "He's perfect."

"I'm sorry," Harry said. "That there won't be any more."

"Promise me something," Ruth said urgently. "Promise me that you won't get bored of me. Or if you do, then you'll tell me."

"Children aren't the reason I love you," Harry said simply. "It doesn't matter to me. Even though I know it matters to you."

"Let me hold him," Ruth said, a grin on her face as she saw the rosy cheeks of her son. Harry handed him over, somewhat reluctantly. He liked how heavy and real Alex felt in his arms. Ruth kissed his forehead lovingly. She couldn't believe how much she loved her son already.

* * *

Ruth and Alex had been discharged from hospital, and had spent nearly a week at home. It was wonderful to spend time settling Alex in his new home. And he'd settled wonderfully well too. He always seemed to wake at three in the morning, but only for a feed. Otherwise he slept through the night, a very good baby.

One night Harry heard him start to whimper first and he got up to comfort him. "Hey little man," Harry said, cradling Alex gently as he kept fussing. "I know you need a feed. Come on, lets wake up mummy. I'm sure she'd be delighted," he added sarcastically. He carried Alex into their bedroom where his fussing made Ruth stir.

"Alex?"

"Sorry, he's hungry," Harry said passing her the baby. Ruth was still half asleep as Alex latched onto her hungrily.

"Mm," Ruth murmured, her head leaning back on the pillows. "He's gorgeous. Even at three a.m."

"He is," Harry agreed. He watched with awe at the two most important people in his life. Eventually he felt compelled to say the obvious. "I love you."

"You too," she said. "He's done."

"I'll put him back," Harry said. By the time he returned Alex was sleeping, and Ruth had a dreamy smile on her face. "The beds warm with you in it," Harry said, cuddling up to her.

She laughed lightly as he kissed her neck, holding her close. She was so warm and soft that he couldn't help his body's reaction to her. She froze when she felt his erection on her thigh. "Harry I can't," she said. "I'm still recovering from surgery, I can't have sex yet."

"My head knows that," Harry said. "Other parts of my body don't seem to care." Ruth laughed and kissed him again. "Go to sleep."

"I can't," she said. "I can't let you sleep in that condition."

"Ruth, don't worry," he said. "I'm fine, you don't have to… oh God." She smiled as her hands started to work over him. She moved down the bed and before Harry even realised what she planned to do, he felt her mouth close over him and he groaned. She was so good at this. Her tongue was bringing him so close and he couldn't help but push deeper into her mouth. She laughed, but kept going until he climaxed with a cry. She released him and rested her head on his stomach as she stroked his skin lightly.

"I don't deserve you," Harry said quietly.

"I know," she said, laughing lightly. She straightened up and lay next to him happily.

"It'll be a few weeks yet."

"As long as it takes for you to be healed," he said sincerely. Ruth kissed his cheek gently, as she turned over to sleep. Harry smiled at her, his heart filled with love.

* * *

In the morning Harry awoke first and could hear Alex beginning to stir. He got up quickly to leave Ruth to sleep for a few minutes more. With the result that when Ruth awoke she heard Harry talking to their boy over the baby monitor.

"Good morning my handsome boy. You're a little angel aren't you? Right, now I'm going to wake mummy in a bit so you can be fed, but first I'm going to change you and get you dressed, so she doesn't have to do it okay?" Ruth smiled at the monitor as Harry changed him and then waited for him to say something else. "There we are, all nice and clean. Okay, what do you want to wear today handsome? We have a nice green set from aunty Jo with all the trains on it. Does that sound good?" Alex gurgled which Harry took for a yes. Ruth kept listening as Harry dressed him, surprisingly quickly. "Shall we go and see mummy sweetheart? Come on." Ruth sat up and smiled when she saw both men in her life come into the bedroom.

"Hi handsome," Ruth said. "Both of you," she added as Harry gave him over. "I love listening to you with him," Ruth said. "You're such a softy."

"Don't tell anyone," Harry said. "I've spent years building my reputation as an iron hearted leader."

"Really? You never came across that way to me."

"That's because I didn't want to seem to harsh towards you," he said. "Not when I wanted to sleep with you."

"That was your first thought when you met me?"

"No, not my first thought," he said. "But one of them. It did briefly enter my mind what you would look like naked."

"I can't believe that," Ruth said, actually blushing.

"When did it occur to you that you wanted more than work colleagues?" Harry asked.

"I don't know when I first thought of it," she said. "I know that when I passed you the memory stick on the bus and you touched my hand I felt a little shock through my skin. That's when I knew I wanted you."

"Really?"

"Yeah," she said. "I'd been thinking about whether I felt anything for you a while before. But that was the moment I _knew_."

"You should have told me," Harry said.

"You're the man, I was waiting for you to make the first move," she said. "I don't deal well with rejection."

"I'm never going to reject you Ruth," he said. She smiled at him. "How are you doing? With the other news. About no other children."

"It seems unreal," Ruth said quietly. "Like it was a bad dream." She put Alex down on the bed and tickled his stomach gently, making him gurgle. "But I am trying to make the most of Alex. Now I know he's the only one."

"You'd be making the most of him anyway," Harry said. Ruth nodded.

"You're right." Ruth kissed him and then jerked as Alex kicked her hip. "I guess he's found his footballers legs."

"Rugby please," Harry said. "My son will have principles and not sell out for football."

"Oh God," Ruth said. "I've just realised I'm going to spend years of my life waiting on freezing pitches, cheering my son on."

"Yes," Harry agreed. Ruth tickled Alex's feet gently and smiled at him. She couldn't wait for him to learn to smile. Even though he was only a week old.

* * *

Harry had gone to work, leaving Ruth and Alex alone for the day. Her maternity leave would last six months before she'd go back to work, and a part of her was scared about having a baby in her care all day every day. She'd never looked after children before, and was pleased that Alex seemed to be an easy baby. He cried rarely and slept well, much to her relief. And just looking into his eyes never got boring. She adored him, more than she expected to. It was as if her heart had expanded, and he filled an entirely new space inside her. She smiled at the light of her world.


End file.
